Why 40 Is So Much Better Than 29

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When I was a little girl, if anyone asked my grandmother how old she was, she would playfully say she was 29. Sometimes it was clearly a joke, but other times people actually believed her. She was a young grandma, after all—only 39 when I was born, and she always looked amazing for her age. My aunts would also embellish their ages, and I’m pretty sure my mom joined in occasionally.

Growing up, I noticed the women in my life seemed hesitant to share their true ages, almost as if they were ashamed of getting older. I found it silly at the time. But when I turned 40, I felt a twinge of anxiety about how old that sounded, and I contemplated lying about my age. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized there was no reason to hide. Being 40 is way better than being 29.

The 20s can be such a confusing time, and I spent most of that decade clinging to my childhood while simultaneously trying to figure out adulthood. Throwing a dinner party felt more like playing house than living my true life.

As a twenty-something, I was constantly racing against the clock to hit certain milestones: finding a partner, getting engaged, throwing an extravagant wedding, buying a house, and starting a family. I compared myself to my friends and felt the pressure to have everything figured out. I was a late bloomer, and I often second-guessed every choice, from major life decisions to whether a red dress was too revealing for a first date.

Looking back, I laugh at how worried I was about turning 30. The dread of that milestone was far worse than what I felt about reaching 40. At 29, I felt like a failure. I wasn’t married, didn’t have kids, and my job was far from exciting. I thought I was running out of time to start a family and worried I’d end up alone, surrounded by feral cats in a rundown house. My confidence was at an all-time low.

Fast forward to my 40s, and everything has changed. The best part of being older is the ability to finally relax. The pressure is off: I’m married, I have a daughter, and going back to school was the best decision of my life. I discovered my passion for writing and ticked off all those milestones, even if I was a bit late on most of them. In hindsight, they didn’t matter as much as my younger self believed.

My 40s feel like a time for celebration. I’m officially done with school—no more algebra or term papers to stress over! I have a career I love that allows me to enjoy life without living on ramen noodles. The urgency to find a partner and start a family has vanished; I’m thrilled to have my daughter, which means I can toss my biological clock out the window. From now on, intimacy is just for fun! Plus, I only have a few more years of dealing with my period, and that’s a win in my book.

What’s truly awesome about being in my 40s is that I still feel youthful, vibrant, and healthy, but I’ve also gained valuable wisdom along the way. I’ve learned to prioritize my well-being, which means no more Twinkies for dinner or late-night escapades. It’s about exercising, being present, and steering clear of unnecessary drama.

Most importantly, I’ve learned how to fulfill my own needs rather than waiting for someone else to do it. Mentally and physically, I’m in the best shape of my life. Funny enough, I used to dread aging, but now, I see middle age as a gift. I’m ready to wear my age with pride like a sparkling crown.

I’m grateful for how far I’ve come and excited for what’s next. Instead of stressing about fitting into societal norms of success, I can now focus on enjoying life, having adventures, and creating beautiful memories with my daughter. So, when someone asks me my age, I’ll proudly share the truth. I learned so much in my youth, but I’m glad to have moved beyond it.

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