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The Day My Toddler Mistook My Vibrator for a Phone
Oh, the horror of parenting moments! We all know that nightstand drawers are sacred spaces, typically reserved for those intimate items we’d rather not discuss. I’m talking about the essentials: condoms, lube, and yes, the trusty vibrator. In this day and age, we’re all familiar with the sex toy boom, and while I’m no stranger to owning a couple of these devices, I also like to keep things light and humorous.
For a while, I embraced my role as a sort of “Vibrator Fairy.” When my sister turned 21, I gifted her a care package that included a sweet little vibrator—a recommendation from a charming shop on the Lower East Side. She celebrated her new adulthood with a playful pink bear-shaped toy. I even sent a vibrator to my best friend overseas when she moved to South Korea to teach English. I found a hilarious and cute vibrating toy called “Buddy,” which she jokingly treated like her new boyfriend. Honestly, if Instagram had been around, Buddy would’ve had a fan following for sure!
While I usually approach all things sex-related with a sense of humor, one day turned from funny to downright mortifying. As a stay-at-home mom, my 18-month-old son, Max, is my little shadow. One morning, while I was distracted trying to brush my teeth, he wandered into my bedroom and began his exploration of my nightstand. At that moment, I was only half-paying attention, focused more on my eyebrows than what he was up to.
To my surprise, he opened the drawer and pulled out my lavender vibrator! In that split second, I barely grasped what he had before he raised it to his ear and cheerfully said, “Hell-o! Hell-o!” That was the moment my baby had a conversation with my vibrator.
If you’re looking for more parenting tales and tips, check out this piece on home insemination kits. It’s a great resource for anyone interested in the journey of starting a family. Also, make sure to visit Make a Mom for insights on artificial insemination, and if you want to dig deeper, ASRM offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, parenting can lead to unexpected and sometimes hilarious situations, like the day my toddler mistook my vibrator for a phone. It’s moments like these that remind us to embrace the chaos and laugh along the way.