Finding Time for Myself Before the ‘Knots’ Take Over

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Setting aside time for myself, like booking a massage, is a rare treat—maybe twice a year. I struggle to carve out this time, often feeling that I can only indulge when everything is just right: low stress, completed projects, and a life running smoothly. I’ve conditioned myself to believe that I deserve a break only when life aligns perfectly, but let’s be real: those perfect moments are few and far between.

Even when I finally do make it to a massage, the stressors of life don’t magically disappear. Each massage therapist I see quickly discovers my “trouble spot”—that tight knot in my upper back or right shoulder. I’ve even given them names, like the “I Still Haven’t Finished That Project” knot or my “Am I a Good Enough Mom?” knot. Whatever I call it, that knot isn’t my friend. Each therapist seems determined to tackle it like it’s a personal mission, but the relief is often fleeting. The pain can feel like they’re pressing on a bruise or an open wound.

The moment always comes when the therapist says, “Take your time getting dressed; I’ll be right outside.” Wouldn’t it be more truthful if she said, “As you get dressed, remember all the things you forgot about for the last hour”? If only I could keep those worries at bay, but they come rushing back without fail.

Managing the Knots

So how do I manage these “knots” when I don’t have a massage therapist at my beck and call? I’ll admit, I sometimes procrastinate to avoid facing them. Do I try to wish the knots away? Absolutely. Do I occasionally confront them head-on? Sometimes, but not with the fervor of someone who’s just been trained to tackle my tension.

I realize it’s not just massages that I shy away from; I skip reading for pleasure, binge-watching shows, and even find it hard to relax after the kids are finally asleep. This isn’t okay. Somewhere along the line, I picked up the notion that I must have my life in perfect order to deserve some self-kindness. What a myth! Life is inherently chaotic, and stress will always be a part of it.

Wise Reminders

I want to discover a way to go easier on myself, to tackle tasks promptly, and not be so overly sensitive about everything. If I dig deep, there are some wise reminders I should acknowledge:

• The knots will always be there. Life is rarely simple or perfect, and I can’t just wish them away.
• Perseverance means learning to coexist with my knots. Sometimes, they stick around, and I need to set aside the hard stuff to make time for the fun stuff.
• Honestly, what could be more stress-relieving than doing something nice for myself? It’s pretty obvious, right?

If a random massage therapist is willing to go all out to tackle my knots, maybe I should be kind enough to learn how to manage them myself—before they manifest in my shoulders.

For more insights on navigating life’s challenges and learning to embrace self-care, you can check out this article. And if you’re interested in the journey of motherhood, visit Make a Mom for expert resources. Additionally, for information on intrauterine insemination, Cleveland Clinic offers excellent guidance.

Summary

In this piece, Jamie shares her struggle with making time for self-care amidst life’s pressures. She reflects on how stress manifests physically and the importance of recognizing and addressing the “knots” in her life. By altering her mindset and prioritizing self-kindness, she aims to create a healthier balance between responsibilities and personal time.