Reflections on My Son’s Transition to College

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As my son prepares to head off to college, I find myself reflecting on the changes in our relationship. Sitting on the porch swing, I watched fireflies dance in the twilight while my phone beeped occasionally, almost like it was trying to join in on the conversation. My Kindle had long since gone dark, and in the driveway, my son was absorbed in a basketball game. I couldn’t help but analyze every bounce of the ball. Meanwhile, my husband assured me that our son hadn’t left the dinner table in a huff, which was a relief—but I still felt the tension.

The Disagreement

It all started over a silly disagreement about his messy room. Honestly, it resembled a disaster zone, and I half expected someone to show up with swabs to test for germs. All I asked was for him to tidy up, a simple request that could have been met with a casual “Sure.” Instead, he shot back, “I’m busy.” Sure, I thought, busy playing basketball and hanging out with friends. But his response felt like a slap in the face. Lately, he’s been more resistant than usual, and instead of my usual calm, I found myself snapping back, “Maybe I’m too busy to let you borrow my car until your room is clean.” Ouch.

And just like that, dinner was over, and he stormed off. I told my husband it was about respect—he can’t expect me to do everything for him. It felt like our relationship was cracking, like a cartoon where an earthquake splits the ground beneath us. Soon, he’ll be off to college, and I won’t be able to guide him through every little thing. Not that I want to hold his hand for everything, but it’s still a hard transition.

My Own Memories

I remember my own last summer before heading off to school. My mom and I clashed over the smallest things, with her worrying about preparations while I felt suffocated by her concerns. Now, I’m in the same position, and it’s frustrating. I’m supposed to be the one teaching him responsibility, but as he embraces it, I can’t help but feel a bit… irrelevant.

Different Perspectives

My husband seems more ready to let go. He won’t be the one left cleaning up after our son moves out. As the day wore on, my frustration faded, and I decided to join my son in watching TV instead of cleaning my own room. After all, these next few weeks are going to be challenging. I’ll need to accept that I can’t control everything, especially not my son. When the time comes for him to leave, we have the choice to either drift apart or build a bridge over the gap. And as long as his messy room stays on his side of the divide, we should be fine.

Resources for Parents

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Conclusion

In summary, as my son prepares for college, our relationship is shifting in ways I never anticipated. I’m learning to let go while still trying to maintain a connection. These changes can be tough, but they’re also a part of growing up and moving forward.