My Marriage Endured the KonMari Tidying Method

home insemination Kit

Updated: June 2, 2020
Originally Published: September 10, 2015

The clutter in my home seems to multiply at an alarming pace. (I’m looking at you, my partner and kids!) Determined to tackle the chaos, I turned to Marie Kondo’s bestseller, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. Her so-called “revolutionary” method promised to elevate tidying to a whole new level, with the allure of never having to organize again if I followed her advice. Who could resist that? I ordered the book online, along with a Veggetti Spiral Vegetable Slicer, clearly setting myself up for success.

I poured over all 204 pages, eager for Kondo’s secrets, but was disappointed to find that no magical Japanese fairies would swoop in to save the day. It was all on me. The KonMari Method urges you to declutter your home category by category and utilize specialized storage techniques for the items that remain.

The Grand Declutter

Kondo suggests a sweeping purge of your entire home in one go, discarding unnecessary items in a single tidying marathon. I suspect she doesn’t have kids—and all the mess that comes with them—so I set aside a weekend and persuaded my husband to join me. “Our life will truly begin once we organize this place. It’s right here in the book!” I insisted, pointing emphatically.

“Are we really tackling the whole house? Can’t we just work on one room at a time?” he countered, perhaps hoping I’d change my mind.

“Nope! The KonMari Method specifically states we must purge all at once and by category, not by room. We’ll start with clothing, then books, then papers, then komono…”

“What’s komono?” he interrupted.

“I think it’s Japanese for ‘the rest of your stuff.’ Anyway, after that, we’ll do sentimental items, which are the hardest,” I explained. Eventually, he gave in—probably because I promised him some quality time in our newly organized space.

Does It Spark Joy?

To decide if an item stays or goes, you must ask yourself whether it sparks joy. Yes, you read that right. You hold an item, look deep within yourself, and gauge the joy it brings. By that measure, I’d only keep my wine, my favorite book, and my family (and some days, by “family,” I really mean “the dog”).

We began with his clothing on a Saturday morning. “Let’s kick this off! First, put all your clothes on the floor,” I directed.

“On the floor? That sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. How will we navigate to the kitchen or the bathroom?” he argued.

Acknowledging his point (which I’m not accustomed to doing), we opted to empty his dresser and closet onto the bed instead. “Don’t forget your coats! Grab everything!” I insisted, and I’m pretty sure I heard him mutter something less than affectionate as he went for his outerwear.

“Does it spark joy? Does it?” I kept asking as I dodged the clothes he tossed my way.

To my surprise, he swiftly decided what brought him joy. Unfortunately, that did not include several items I had bought for him, which ended up in the discard pile. I tried to keep my mouth shut… until I couldn’t anymore. “You’re tossing all your sweaters?!” I exclaimed.

“When do I even wear those? Unless you’re dressing me, and that definitely doesn’t spark joy. Now if you were to undress me…” he teased.

“Not happening!” I shot back.

Organizing the Keepers

Once he cleared out all the joy-sucking clothing, we moved on to organizing the survivors. “Can’t we just shove them back where they were?” he asked, clearly overwhelmed.

“Absolutely not! We need to fold them into tiny rectangles and hang the items that prefer to be hung. Clothes have feelings, you know!”

“Seriously?” he replied.

“Yes! Treat them with care or else I’ll KonMari you!”

Though he was great at purging, it became evident that folding wasn’t his strong suit. “You’re folding those all wrong,” I reprimanded him, eventually making him watch KonMari tutorials on YouTube. “And we need to redo your socks. Never ball them up! It’s not restful for them,” I advised.

“Are you actually serious right now?” he grumbled.

“Totally. We need to thank our socks for their hard work. We can be Clothes Whisperers!”

“Will we still be married after all this?” he asked, half-joking.

My Turn to Purge

When it was my turn, I found myself struggling. What sparks joy for me? I kept asking my husband, “Does this outfit spark joy for you?” He wisely chose to remain silent.

Along the way, I realized many of my clothes no longer fit. While they might not spark joy now, they certainly would when I lost those pesky ten pounds. So I tossed them into a box in the garage, probably breaking a few rules in the process.

At the end of day one, we had successfully filled ten garbage bags with clothing and accessories, and had lovingly organized what remained. Our closets looked fantastic. While they probably wouldn’t change my life, they did bring me a sense of happiness.

Beyond Clothing

“Ready to tackle the rest?” I asked my husband excitedly.

“What!? The clothes took all day! We can’t possibly finish the rest this weekend,” he protested.

“Of course we can! Let’s power through!” I exclaimed.

To that, he replied, “You no longer spark joy. Get in the garbage bag.”

Realizing my marriage was at stake, I shifted my focus to tidying the bedroom, so at least our sanctuary would feel transformed. I moved the books, papers, and komono to the office for sorting at a later date.

What Did I Learn?

If my bedroom is any indication, the KonMari Method has the potential to yield fantastic results throughout the house. Despite the bickering, I found that decluttering by category and letting go of items that no longer serve a purpose is quite effective. Will it transform my life? Who knows.

The method also comes with some excellent folding tips, but let’s be honest—I can barely keep up with the laundry. There’s no way I’ll fold everything perfectly. The clean clothes will just have to learn to be content in the laundry basket. Also, I’m not talking to my socks. No matter what Kondo says.

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Summary

Decluttering using the KonMari Method can be a challenging yet rewarding journey, especially when navigating the process with a partner. From tackling clothing chaos to learning to appreciate the items that truly spark joy, this method encourages a fresh perspective on what we keep. Despite some humorous obstacles along the way, the experience can lead to a more organized and joyful home.