If You Give a Mom a Snooze Button

home insemination Kit

If you hand a mom a snooze button, you can bet she’ll hit it.

Once she hits that snooze button, she’s bound to run behind schedule.

And if she runs behind, guess what? The kids will have granola bars for breakfast.

Those granola bars? They’ll leave crumbs scattered all over the car on the way to school.

And if there are crumbs in the car, that means mom will have to clean it up.

But let’s be real, if she has to clean the car, she probably won’t. It’s a minivan, not a shiny wedding limo. It’s like the crumbs have taken up residence. Welcome home, crumbs! Just hang out with those old French fries and that sticky residue in the cup holder.

If a mom cleaned up every single crumb from every snack her kids ever had in the car, she’d have to actually care. But right now, mom’s too sleep-deprived to care about anything. Since that day in the delivery room when the doctor said, “Push!” and she turned to her partner and said, “Don’t even think about telling me to breathe through this.”

If she could’ve breathed through childbirth like a superhero, she’d be like Wonder Woman—not in some fancy leotard, but in jeans and a comfy t-shirt with a minimizer bra. With those powers, she’d zoom to the school to volunteer, dash to the store for milk, rush to work to pay for more granola bars, or just sneak back home to vacuum the living room. Because, honestly, who has time for the car?

If she finds the energy to juggle volunteering, grocery runs, and work, she’d save whatever’s left to tackle the last-minute project her child announces just as the bus arrives. So, she’d stay up late, blow dryer in one hand, trying to finish that volcano project. And after that? Well, she might clean something, pack a lunch, or match socks. Or she might do none of it at all.

If she decides against matching socks, she’ll probably pour herself another glass of wine (or maybe a third—because volcano projects are thirsty work) and catch up on her favorite shows. After all, who really cares if those socks don’t have partners?

If she can’t match socks, she’ll attempt to get some sleep, but won’t fall asleep until midnight, and even then her eyes will pop open because didn’t she need to sign a permission slip or write a check? And oh wow, what’s that smell? How long has that load been sitting in the washer?

After shuffling into the kitchen for the checkbook or into the laundry room to sniff the musty towels, if she still has any energy left, she’ll lay in bed scrolling through her phone until the early hours.

And if she stays up late, guess what? She’ll definitely be hitting that snooze button come morning.

If you’re curious about home insemination, check out this insightful blog post at Intracervical Insemination. It’s packed with helpful info! Plus, if you’re looking for the right tools, Make a Mom has got you covered. And for a deeper understanding of genetics, this resource can be really useful.

In summary, giving a mom a snooze button is just the start of a whirlwind of late mornings, breakfast chaos, and late-night project madness. While she may be juggling it all, at the end of the day, she’s just trying to keep it together—one snooze at a time.