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My Journey to Marriage: A Tale of Love and Resilience
By: Emily J. Carter
Updated: Aug. 26, 2019
Originally Published: Sep. 13, 2015
Finding my way to marriage wasn’t the smoothest path. It took seven long years before we got engaged, and nine more before we finally strolled down a rose petal-strewn aisle to say “I do.” The years leading up to that moment were anything but easy. After nearly 13 years together, I won’t pretend our love was a fairytale that started with love at first sight. It took time, patience, and a lot of hard work. Behind a man who was unsure of his desires stood a woman who was incredibly clear about hers.
I dreamt of a marriage, a cozy home, and maybe a baby—and perhaps a dog someday. Fast forward to today, and I’m yearning for a better life for our little one, away from the “not-so-great” neighborhood we live in. It sounds simple to want more for our child and ourselves, but for us, nothing is ever simple. Our love is fierce, and so are our disagreements. We feel everything deeply, and we never lack passion.
It’s easy for others to look at our wedding photos and assume we’re one of those perfectly happy couples. When you see me kissing my husband in my champagne-colored wedding dress, it’s easy to think, “They’ve got it all figured out.” And sure, we were overjoyed that day—right after the officiant pronounced us married, I couldn’t help but shout, “Thank you!” to the crowd. In that moment, I was on cloud nine, and my heart was full of gratitude.
But there’s so much more that goes unseen in those joyful wedding snapshots. They don’t reflect the blood, sweat, tears, and yes, even a bit of profanity, that went into making that day happen. I’ll never sugarcoat our marriage. It’s a constant effort, much like motherhood, and I’m working at it nearly every day.
There have been moments where one of us wanted to throw in the towel. We’ve sat face-to-face, crossed-legged on the floor, and declared, “I hate you.” And we meant it. There were times when one of us walked away, while the other stayed behind. But through it all, we’ve never truly broken up for more than a day. We’ve never left each other for good.
Even during those challenging times when I thought I couldn’t stand him, I found my way back to love. I poured my heart into our relationship and eventually learned to invest in myself too. Nurturing my health and self-worth allowed me to embrace who I am—the body I inhabit and the soul within.
I learned to love myself before I could fully love him. He loved me even when I struggled to love myself. After gaining a significant amount of weight, I remember thinking, “How can he possibly find me attractive?” I loathed my own body, the extra pounds, and the imperfections that plagued me. I felt trapped in my skin.
Yet, he would look at old photos and say, “I don’t remember you being that big.” He loved me in my most vulnerable moments—even when I was battling addiction and forgetting important commitments. He even walked home in the rain after I locked him out during a rough patch. He stood by me when I messed up, when I was lost in my own world, and even when I hit rock bottom.
And despite all that, he chose to start a family with me. Throughout my many ups and downs, he never wavered in his love. Because of him, I became a mother—the person I always wanted to be. People see the smiles and happiness we share on social media, but they’ll never know the struggles we’ve faced.
Being his girlfriend, then his wife, and now the mother of his child has been a journey filled with hard work, dedication, and perseverance through tough times when we could have walked away. Today, as we play with our little one, I snuggle up to him and thank the universe for our stubbornness and resilience.
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Summary:
This article highlights the journey of a couple who navigated the challenges of love, commitment, and family life over the years. Through ups and downs, they learned the importance of self-love, resilience, and the power of their bond. Their story is a testament to the hard work and dedication required to maintain a meaningful relationship, while also exploring the joys and struggles of parenthood.