This year, the excitement of a new school year faded faster than I expected. Not even the allure of shiny new school supplies or crisp uniforms could lift the gloomy atmosphere that settled over our house once classes resumed. We’re just 13 days into the school year, and I’m already eagerly awaiting Thanksgiving—our first significant break (74 days, in case you’re counting). By day 8, I had exhausted all my lunch ideas, and by day 10, we overslept. On day 12, I jokingly suggested homeschooling just so we could enjoy a sleep-in past 6:15 AM. My kids stared at me blankly, and that idea was quickly shelved.
As I waited in the pick-up line on day 13, I found myself reminiscing about our carefree summer days—lazy mornings, spontaneous beach trips, and s’mores under the stars. I missed the sand that seemed to permanently decorate my car’s floor mats. I could still picture the surfboards peeking from between the seats. I longed for a washing machine full of swimwear and not polo shirts adorned with our school crest.
Then the car doors swung open, my kids jumped in, and the arguing began—lasting the entire 20-minute ride home. Suddenly, the bliss of summer felt a lot less idyllic. I remembered how, around week 4 of summer, I had tearfully called my husband, suggesting I might sell my own blood just to fund a camp—any camp. The constant squabbling had reached a breaking point, and if arguing over trivial matters was an Olympic sport, my kids would definitely take home the gold.
Here are just 29 of the countless silly things my kids fight about:
- Which juice glass is cooler
- Whether or not they argue too much (yes, really)
- Who’s “out” in any game of Gaga or Nerf War
- Whose sock is lying on the floor
- Anything based purely on opinion
- Anything based on fact
- Who greeted the neighbor first
- What time Grandma and Grandpa are coming over
- What time Grandma and Grandpa actually arrived
- Who hugged Grandma and Grandpa first
- How to load the dishwasher (spoiler: they’re both terrible at it)
- How to scoop dog poop
- Who last fed the dog
- Whose tortoise is larger
- Who gets the last cookie
- Who gets the first slice of pizza
- What we had for dinner last night
- Who gets sunscreen applied first at the beach
- Whether the new Maroon 5 song is overplayed
- Which route to school is quicker
- Who initiated “it”
- Who gets to use the treadmill versus the elliptical (turn-taking? What’s that?)
- Who unlocks the car door
- Who unlocks the front door
- Who left the car door open
- Who forgot to close the front door
- Slurpee or McFlurry: the ultimate debate
- Who greeted Dad at the door first
- Who greeted Dad at the door first yesterday
Suddenly, those 74 days until Thanksgiving feel like they will drag on forever, and the thought of packing lunches has never seemed so appealing. For more insights and tips on parenting, check out this excellent resource on artificial insemination and consider the Cryobaby at-home insemination kit for more information on starting your family.
In summary, kids can find numerous trivial topics to bicker about, turning even the most mundane situations into epic debates. As parents, we sometimes reminisce about the carefree days of summer, but the reality of sibling rivalry remains ever-present.