Five Things I’ll Never Say to My Kids Again

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Parenting can be a real challenge, and I’m the first to admit that I’ve made my share of mistakes—especially when it comes to what I say to my little ones. Lately, I’ve been focusing on what I like to call mindful parenting, which has opened my eyes to how I interact with my children. It’s clear I have some work to do, so let’s dive into five phrases I’m committed to removing from my vocabulary:

1. What’s wrong with you?
   Growing up, I heard this phrase too often and promised I’d never use it on my kids. The first time it slipped out, I felt like I was watching from outside my body. My child looked at me with that familiar shameful expression I recognized all too well. I realized that my role as a parent is to uplift them, not to tear them down. They will face enough challenges in the world; I should be the one who provides a sturdy foundation for them.
2. Why can’t you be more like your brother?
   I may not have said these exact words, but I’ve definitely communicated that sentiment. When I get frustrated with one child, I unintentionally pit them against each other by highlighting their sibling’s good behavior. Each of my boys has their own unique strengths and quirks. By comparing them, I risk undermining their individuality and creating unnecessary competition. It’s time to embrace their uniqueness instead.
3. You are making me so angry.
   Truth is, no one can make me feel a certain way—my emotions are influenced by many factors, from my own stress levels to how much sleep I got the night before. My kids’ actions might trigger my feelings, but my response is ultimately my choice. I want to model a healthier way to process emotions rather than placing that burden on them.
4. Mommy’s sad. Come give me a hug.
   While this may sound harmless, it puts the responsibility of my emotions on my kids. I don’t want them to feel obliged to fix my feelings; that could lead to codependency. I need to show them that I am responsible for my own emotions, and while support is lovely, it shouldn’t be their job to ensure I’m okay.
5. If you’re going to play with this, do it the right way.
   Play is essential for children’s growth and creativity. When I insist on “the right way,” I risk stifling their imagination and shutting down their unique expressions. Instead, I want to encourage them to explore their creativity freely. It’s through play that they communicate their thoughts and feelings, and I want to encourage that connection.

Recognizing these phrases is a big step for me, and I hope sharing this journey helps hold me accountable. I want my boys to grow into confident, independent individuals, and it all begins with how I communicate with them today. For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this helpful resource. Additionally, for more information on home insemination, visit Make a Mom and IVF Babble.

In summary, by eliminating these phrases from my vocabulary, I can foster a healthier environment for my children to grow and thrive, and help them develop into strong individuals.