Do I Ever Feel Like Throwing in the Towel? A Parenting Reality Check

home insemination Kit

A few weeks back, I received a message from my sister, who welcomed her third little one earlier this year. Her text read, “Please tell me you have days when it feels like too much. When the only option is to step outside for a breather. I just need to know I’m not alone.”

I chuckled, knowing she was completely serious. My mind raced with thoughts like “every single day” and “just this morning” and “it’s a minute-by-minute struggle.”

Parenting is tough. Honestly, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever tackled. I used to run 6 miles every morning in sweltering humidity and then commute an hour to work at the downtown news office. I even trained for marathons while pushing a double stroller with a 4-year-old and a 3-year-old inside. I managed to work under a difficult boss. Yet, nothing compares to the challenges of parenting.

There are countless moments throughout my day when I feel the urge to just give up and escape to my old life—a life without the constant worry that comes with having kids.

Take last week, for instance. My 3-year-old twins ventured into our usually safe backyard while I moved laundry from the washer to the dryer. Two minutes—max. When I returned, one twin was back inside, and the entire house reeked of gasoline.

“Why does it smell like gasoline?” I asked, half-expecting an answer. The guilty look in his eyes told me everything.

“What were you doing out there?” I questioned.

“Nuffing,” he replied.

I knew that was a cover-up. And then, as if on cue, his twin brother walked in smelling like a gas station. I peered out onto the deck and found their dad’s gas can, which is typically kept behind a locked door. Somehow, these little rascals had managed to access it in under two minutes.

They had poured gasoline everywhere—on the deck, on the grass, and, of course, all over themselves. Thankfully, no one smokes in our house, or we might have found ourselves in a real pickle.

I tossed them both into the bath (which wasn’t part of the morning plan) while the baby wailed downstairs in his jumper seat, hating being left alone. My husband stepped in to hose down the deck and saturate the grass, fearing that the Texas sun would ignite the gasoline and send us all into chaos.

That morning epitomized what I like to call a “give-up day.” It’s impossible to stay one step ahead in my household. I can’t toddler-proof every inch of the house. It’d take a small army to keep them out of every potentially dangerous thing they find entertaining.

There have been times when I wished for a moment of peace, when I found myself fantasizing about a life without twins—just a brief escape to recharge.

But here’s the thing I’ve come to understand: wanting to run away or feeling overwhelmed doesn’t diminish our love for our kids. These little, wild beings can be both the most delightful and the most infuriating people we encounter.

Some days, I cherish the quiet moments, soaking in their laughter and playfulness, and other days, I wonder what I was thinking when I signed up for this adventure.

I often find myself reminiscing about old photos of my twins in the NICU, reflecting on how far we’ve come, and then there are days when it feels like those moments happened in another lifetime. Just yesterday, one of them decided to explore the joys of a used toilet, much to my dismay.

Despite the chaos, there are fleeting moments of pure joy, like when I pull them close for giggles and kisses. Yet, there are also times when I’m desperately trying to keep my older son from clobbering them for coloring in his journal with a permanent marker—a mystery that keeps resurfacing in our house.

Parenting is not for the faint-hearted. It’s a monumental responsibility with challenges that can leave us feeling like we want to give in. But that’s part of the journey.

So I shot back a text to my sister. “Yes,” I replied. “I feel that way almost every day. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom.” Because it doesn’t.

These moments of wanting to throw in the towel and knowing we can’t are what shape us into stronger parents. They deepen our understanding of love, and thankfully, they also prepare us for the next unexpected adventure—like discovering that my toddler has gotten into a can of paint and turned our pantry wall into a masterpiece.

By the time this parenting journey wraps up, I just might emerge as a superhero!

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In summary, parenting is a rollercoaster. It’s filled with ups and downs, moments of joy and frustration, but through it all, we learn, grow, and love fiercely.