Let’s talk about something important: the man you refer to as Dad isn’t your biological father. I know, it’s a tough pill to swallow, but one day, I will have to explain it to you. You’ll start to remember when our last names were different, and eventually, you’ll realize that a name change doesn’t mean everything else magically shifts. You’ll notice how you look different from him, hear things from others, and even meet your half-siblings at school. Yes, there are other siblings you don’t even know about yet!
I know you’re not quite sure what it means to have a stepdad. I’ll need to share all of this with you, but I’m still figuring out how to present the story—blending the truth with the soft lies I’ll need to tell you for now. I can’t help it; I’ll protect you until you’re old enough to understand or decide to dig into the court papers yourself. Because, at the end of the day, I’m your mom and the thought of causing you pain is unbearable.
I’ll tell you, my daughter, that your biological father was there for me when I needed him. He had a heart for fixing broken things, and when life was tough, he wanted to help me. But it didn’t work out, and we tried hard to be the best parents we could, until he found someone else who needed him more and moved on. I’ll explain that he chose your stepdad for you, believing he could provide the family you deserve.
What I won’t share is how he stopped showing up, how his calls became fewer and fewer, or how he had countless excuses for not being there. I won’t mention that he had other children, or that his new partner wanted him to distance himself from you and me. I hope you forget all of that ever happened.
As for you, my son, I’ll explain that your father and I were like two ticking time bombs—passionate but eventually destructive. He was brave, serving his country repeatedly and losing a bit of himself each time. I’ll tell you that he made the tough choice to step back when he realized he couldn’t be the father you needed. He even asked for your stepdad to adopt you, wanting to make our family whole.
I won’t delve into the ugly parts of our relationship— the infidelity, the struggles with addiction, the financial hardships, or the last time you saw him when you were just starting to walk. The only father you know is the one who has been there for you.
Yet, I dread the day I’ll have to share the truth, when a name can’t cover up the reality of DNA. I know you’ll want to search for your biological roots and connect with family you never knew existed. I wish we could be enough to fill that void, but deep down, I know the day is coming when you’ll feel the need to find out more.