Your cart is currently empty!
In Defense of Being a Structured Parent
You know, I never thought of myself as a strict parent. Before I had kids, I was the kind of person who went with the flow and embraced spontaneity. I could adapt to any situation, whether it was a last-minute trip or an unexpected change in plans. But now, as a mom, I’ve turned into someone who craves structure and routine.
When my first child arrived, we had him on a schedule by the time he was just two weeks old. A well-meaning friend handed us a book that promised a solution to our sleep-deprived woes, and in those early, exhausting days, I was ready to try anything. If someone suggested I could get more sleep by doing jumping jacks at dawn, I might have given it a shot.
Looking back, we didn’t even follow the schedule perfectly—it was more like a loose guideline, and there were times we would improvise. If he woke up at 6:15 instead of 7, I would adjust the whole day around it! “Okay, breakfast at 6:30, nap at 8:15 instead of 9, but let’s stretch it to 8:25 to get back on track later.” It was a little absurd, and sometimes it felt like a comedy of errors. But with my son being a great sleeper (perhaps due to luck or maybe the book), we attributed all our success to The Schedule.
Before long, my obsession with strict nap and bedtime routines became a defining feature of our lives. I learned to relax a bit about minor delays, but I was adamant that my kids napped in their cribs at the right times. Social outings were often out of the question unless I could guarantee a sitter for the evening. Bedtime? That was always at 7 p.m.—no exceptions.
Traveling is another area where our rigidity shines. With two kids who have a knack for car sickness, we find ourselves weighing the joys of a getaway against the likelihood of dealing with vomit and the hassle of cleaning car seats. Plus, hotel stays are hardly restful for us. Our youngest has a talent for waking everyone up with his night screams, leaving us all anxious and awake for hours. More often than not, we opt against the trip.
Friends and family give us a hard time about our choices. We turn down 6 p.m. party invitations because that’s right in the middle of dinner and bedtime routines. We plan our travels meticulously around nap times, even if it means missing out on gatherings. We don’t travel often, and when we do, we typically choose a destination and stay put for as long as possible—essentially creating a second home to keep our routine intact.
I admit, sometimes it’s a bit disheartening. I never thought I’d be the one to shy away from adventures. I used to book weekend getaways to Europe on a whim and loved the thrill of spontaneous road trips. But life is about choices, and right now, I prioritize my children’s well-being and a structured routine. Spontaneity and adventure are on hold for the moment. A good friend, whose kids are a bit older, reassures me that the freedom to travel without a million logistical concerns is just around the corner. “You’ll be able to enjoy Paris when they’re past the napping and diaper stage,” she says.
So, I’m holding on to that hope—that one day, I can reclaim my spontaneity. A trip to Paris with my 5- and 8-year-olds? Absolutely, if I can find a last-minute deal that works!
In summary, while I may come off as inflexible and predictable, I’m embracing this season of parenting. It’s about making choices that work for my family, and I’m looking forward to the day when we can all be a bit more adventurous together.