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Finding Comfort in the Virtual Community of Parents
While I thrive on social interactions, I often find myself drawn to solitary pursuits. As a writer, I’ve spent years working alone, and even ran a cleaning business for eight years, which meant long hours of solitude. I appreciated the quiet time to immerse myself in my thoughts, often listening to Howard Stern, NPR, and ESPN Radio for hours on end through my smartphone. These sounds kept me entertained and informed, allowing my creativity to flow without feeling lonely.
A few months ago, I made the transition to being a stay-at-home mom. With three kids, my partner and I decided it was best for me to care for our twin boys while our daughter is in preschool. Now, my early morning writing sessions are my only moments of solitude. Even with our lively dog and two rambunctious toddlers around, I often feel a pang of loneliness during the day.
My boys and I have established a routine filled with playgroups, library visits, and trips to Costco and the park. While we encounter other parents, these brief interactions often leave me unfulfilled. I respect the different parenting styles I come across, but I don’t always relate to them. Sometimes, I indulge in a drink at noon or mutter under my breath when the chaos gets overwhelming. Not every mom gets my sense of humor or my approach to parenting.
I adore my boys, but I sometimes find myself wishing for a little space. Each evening, I worry that the challenges of parenting full-time might overshadow the joy. The love I feel is often mixed with guilt for not being more patient, and I regret moments when I missed out on hugs and laughter while wrapped up in the day-to-day grind.
Most of my family members are at work or too far away for spontaneous playdates, so I turn to my online community for support. I still enjoy listening to radio shows, but it’s tough to focus when my toddlers are vying for my attention. I accept that interruptions are part of this stage of life, but it makes it hard to enjoy adult conversations. Instead, I play with my boys, do chores, and hope they take decent naps. During the few quiet moments, I reach for my phone.
I find myself scrolling through Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, skimming articles and news, sharing photos of my kids, and posting witty (or at least I hope so) updates. I distract myself from the monotony of being home all day. In those fleeting moments when my boys are occupied, I find myself scrolling and connecting with other parents who understand the daily negotiations of toddler life. I read articles that resonate with my experiences, laugh at relatable memes, and enjoy beautifully written pieces that remind me I’m not alone.
Through my phone, I feel the warmth of a supportive community, even if most of them are strangers. I’m a parent, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything, but I’m also human. I use my phone to stay connected to the outside world and maintain my sanity. I’ve realized that this phase is temporary, and I should cherish the moments—good and bad—because they’ll pass quickly. Each like or retweet reassures me that I’m not alone in this journey, so when loneliness strikes, I reach for my phone to feel a little less isolated.
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Summary
In the journey of parenthood, finding moments of solitude can be challenging, especially while navigating the dynamics of caring for young children. Although I cherish my time with my kids, I often feel a mix of love and guilt, along with a desire for adult connection. My smartphone provides a lifeline to a supportive online community, reminding me that I’m not alone in my experiences. Embracing this stage of life, with all its chaos and joy, is essential as I strive to find balance and fulfillment.