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Lessons from My First Year of Motherhood That I Won’t Apologize For
When I was expecting, I envisioned my early days of motherhood filled with serene moments—a blissful labor, effortless breastfeeding, and a flat tummy post-baby. But, as many new moms will tell you, motherhood is anything but picture-perfect. It’s a chaotic journey filled with tough choices and surprises. Here are some of the decisions I made during my first year as a mom that I refuse to apologize for (and neither should you!).
1. Having a C-Section
I’m not quite sure where the idea that C-sections are just an easy way out came from, but let me tell you, that was not my experience. I was desperate for a C-section because my baby was stubbornly breech—his head pressed up under my rib cage, and every little movement was excruciating. I had a scheduled C-section at 39 weeks, but when my water broke a week early, I felt a rush of relief that my pregnancy was finally ending. The surgery was intense and not at all glamorous. I was prepped, cut open, and stitched up while my arms were strapped down. My scar is a reminder of that day, and I wouldn’t change a thing. My son was safe, and I’m proud of my birth story!
2. Formula Feeding
While breastfeeding is often hailed as the gold standard, I wish there was more support for moms who choose formula feeding. Let me be clear: I believe in the mantra that fed is best—whether it’s breast milk, formula, or both. In my case, I faced medical issues that meant I couldn’t produce milk at all. The guilt I experienced was tough, but when I switched to formula, it was a game-changer for our family. My husband could help with feedings, allowing us to bond more as a family. I have zero regrets about formula feeding and will stand by that choice without apology.
3. Crying It Out
At just 13 days old, we transitioned our son to his own crib. My husband was heading back to work, and we knew we needed a routine. We decided to try the “Moms On Call” method, which includes a little crying it out. It worked wonders—by 10 weeks, he was sleeping through the night! It might not be for everyone, but it sure worked for us.
4. My Husband’s Nightly Bath Routine
Bath time and bedtime have been my husband’s responsibility since day one, and I couldn’t be happier about it. I asked him to take the lead in this area so he could bond with our son while I had a little time to myself. People often say I’m lucky, but honestly, it’s about creating space for him to connect with our child. Those moments are precious for both of them, and I cherish the quiet time I get in the meantime.
5. Traveling Without the Baby
Let’s face it—having a baby can put a strain on your relationship. Taking a break and traveling without our son has been refreshing for my husband and me. We’ve received some judgment for it, but we believe it’s important to focus on our relationship. Our son is well-loved and knows we always come home to him. Plus, a little time away means we can enjoy a few uninterrupted nights of sleep!
I won’t apologize for any of these choices; they bring happiness and health to our family. We all deserve to feel good about our parenting decisions, and that’s what matters most.
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Summary:
This article reflects on key choices made during the author’s first year of motherhood, including having a C-section, choosing formula feeding, implementing a crying-it-out strategy, allowing her husband to take charge of bath time, and traveling without the baby. The author emphasizes the importance of feeling confident and unapologetic about personal parenting decisions.