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5 Things I Wish Others Knew About My Nonverbal Child
As a parent of a lively 4-year-old, I often find myself in the delightful chaos that comes with raising a child. My son, Jake, is full of energy and loves nothing more than running around, enjoying tickle fights, grooving to music, and listening to bedtime stories. However, Jake’s autism makes his experience quite different from that of his peers. The biggest challenge often comes from the perceptions of those around him. Just because he doesn’t speak doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a lot to offer. Here are five things I wish people understood about my amazing son:
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Just Because He Doesn’t Speak, Doesn’t Mean He Isn’t Listening
Jake may not use words, but he sure knows how to take everything in. There are two types of language skills—expressive and receptive—and his hearing tests show he has normal receptive language in at least one ear. I sometimes forget this, too, and I can only imagine what he might say if he ever starts talking—probably a few colorful words he picked up from me in the car! So, please, talk to him like you would any other child. He can feel when people underestimate him, and he takes note. -
He Has a Great Sense of Humor
Believe it or not, Jake has a knack for humor. He’s got a bit of a mischievous side! His favorite gag is pointing to the wrong object when his therapist asks him to touch something specific. He also has this hilarious habit of pretending to give a high five but then running his hand through his hair instead. At a recent evaluation, he was working on a puzzle and paused the moment the doctor looked his way, acting as if the puzzle didn’t exist. If he could whistle, he would’ve! -
Not All Autistic Kids Are Like Rain Man
I get it; people often reference that movie, but not every child with autism has a hidden talent. Jake won’t be counting toothpicks or composing symphonies on his toy piano. Just because his brain works differently doesn’t mean he has some magical skill to show off, and I wouldn’t want him to feel pressured to perform for others. -
He’s a Pro at Reading People
Jake has an uncanny ability to read social cues. He knows just how to charm people into doing what he wants. He’s quite the little strategist! His cuteness can be hard to resist—believe me, I’ve had to explain to several teachers that I can’t just hold him all day long. He’s a full of energy 45 pounds and 4 feet tall. Good luck trying to keep that up! -
He’s More Than His Autism
People may see a child who seems lost in thought or flapping his hands, but there’s so much more to Jake than that. He’s a real little boy with a lot going on inside him. Please don’t underestimate him; you might miss out on knowing a truly wonderful kid. It’s important to treat everyone with respect and kindness, as you never know the amazing individual you might be engaging with.
For more on autism and parenting, check out this excellent resource from March of Dimes. And if you’re interested in learning about home insemination, you can find more information at this link.
In summary, Jake is a vibrant child with unique qualities and insights that deserve recognition. He may not use words, but he has a lot to share—if only people would take the time to understand him.