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There’s No Such Thing As a Perfect Mother (Sponsored)
Parenting
Updated: Sep. 22, 2015 | Originally Published: Sep. 22, 2015
Before I became a mother for the first time, I thought I had it all figured out. I diligently attended every childbirth and breastfeeding class, devoured books on parenting, and was brimming with opinions and philosophies. I believed I knew exactly what it meant to be a good mother.
Then, reality hit when my baby arrived, and I found myself flat on my back after a long, challenging labor. The experience of motherhood was a stark contrast to my expectations—it was messier, more painful, both physically and emotionally. I was blindsided by the reality of it all.
That overwhelming feeling, which I call the “Truck of Motherhood,” continued during those blurry early days after my first son was born. I was so exhausted I could hardly move, and my confusion left me reeling. Now, 13 years into this journey, I still feel like I’m figuring it out as I go along.
I’ve been raising that baby boy, now a teenage whirlwind, along with his three younger siblings. Throughout this adventure, I’ve seen each of my parenting ideals and good intentions get challenged time and again. If I ever judged another mother for a certain choice, I would soon find myself humbled by one of my own children’s antics. Believe me, I carry the battle scars of motherhood.
No one is exempt from the trials of parenting. If you think you have baby sleep mastered, watch as your little one decides to throw a wrench in your plans. If you pride yourself on being a potty-training expert, you might find yourself facing a stubborn child who refuses to cooperate. We all experience those moments of doubt and struggle.
It’s amusing to think that while I don’t know any two adults who are exactly alike, we somehow expect children to thrive under a one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. With four kids of my own, I can attest that each one has their own unique personality, needs, and challenges. Gender stereotypes? Forget it—none of my boys can aim for the toilet properly! I’m learning as I go with each of them.
It’s natural for mothers to compare their choices and experiences, but we should be supporting one another rather than judging. The journey of parenthood isn’t a competition; the stakes are too high for that. As our children grow, we face new challenges, from educational struggles to health concerns. You might find yourself in a doctor’s office, discussing options for therapy, or anxiously awaiting news about how your child is fitting in at school. These moments are filled with uncertainty and fear, and we all share them.
Once, I envied the mothers at toddler classes who seemed to bounce back effortlessly or had children who were advanced in their speech. Now, as I drop off my youngest at preschool, I recognize that every mother carries her own burdens. We’re all navigating our own unique challenges, and many of us are grappling with self-doubt.
Through raising my children, I’ve learned that we are all imperfect. Mistakes are part of the journey. As I’ve aged, I’ve witnessed friends face unimaginable challenges—caring for sick loved ones, losing children, or coping with loss themselves. These experiences have shifted my perspective on motherhood and on the mothers around me.
Today, I care less about whether you choose formula or breastmilk, or whether you co-sleep or not. What matters most is that we’re all doing our best and striving to love our children in the ways we know how. While perfection is unattainable, there are countless ways to be a loving and supportive mother.
At the end of the day, we’re all in this together, and let’s face it—being a mom is tough enough without judging each other. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or need reassurance, just know I’m right there with you. We all share the common goal of loving our kids to the best of our abilities.
Support for fellow mothers is crucial, and that’s why organizations like Similac are stepping up. Recently, they sponsored a panel with The Sisterhood of Motherhood and TODAY’s Parenting Team to address the judgment mothers face and how it can be harmful. They’ve also partnered with director Cynthia Wade for a documentary, #EndMommyWars, which highlights the diverse journeys of new mothers. I encourage you to check out the trailer and see if you recognize yourself in the stories shared.
For those interested in more resources on pregnancy and home insemination, you can read more at Kindbody or explore the journey of couples at Make a Mom. And if you have any questions or need support, don’t hesitate to reach out through this contact page.
Summary
This heartfelt reflection on motherhood emphasizes the importance of support and understanding among mothers. It highlights the challenges and imperfections we all face, reminding us that while no one is a perfect mother, we can all strive to do our best.