I don’t always feel the urge to unleash my inner ninja when I’m out with my child, but when I do, it’s usually after encountering someone who’s been downright rude and deserving of a swift kick to the ego.
During one of my first solo grocery trips with my newborn son, a passing remark from a stranger threw me into a tizzy. My little guy, just 7 weeks old, erupted into an urgent wail—one of those surprise cries that babies do out of nowhere. I quickly maneuvered my cart to the side to give him some comfort.
As I unbuckled him, a man pushing his own child in a cart strolled by. His son, probably around 4 or 5, asked, “Why is that baby crying?” I smiled at the boy, who looked genuinely concerned. But his father piped up, “I wish that baby would just be quiet!” He didn’t even bother to look my way, but his voice was loud enough to reach me, as if he wanted to make sure I heard every word.
Really? Did he think that his obnoxious comment would magically make my baby stop crying? That I would pull a sock out of my bag to silence him? Or maybe he hoped to make me feel so guilty that I’d never venture out with my child again? I couldn’t help but wonder how his son felt about such a mean-spirited remark—so contrary to the empathy that kids naturally have.
I get it; there are just some people out there who seem to lack compassion. This was just one of many times I’ve experienced judgment when my kids aren’t exactly being angels. But here’s the thing: parenting is tough, and who should understand that better than fellow parents?
So, if you see a mom or dad battling a meltdown, do everyone a favor: ditch the stink eye and keep your comments to yourself. Trust me, I’m already aware if my kid is being a little monster. There are countless quirks and challenges we’re all navigating, and sometimes it takes a minute—or ten—to regain our composure and calm the storm.
Unless a parent is completely ignoring their child’s behavior and it affects you directly, let’s show a bit of kindness. Stares and snarky remarks only add to the chaos of whatever situation we find ourselves in. I’m already stressed out; I don’t need to add your judgment to the mix. If you can’t muster compassion, at least keep quiet. A little understanding goes a long way.
The whole parenting gig can feel overwhelming and, at times, demoralizing. We need support and encouragement, not criticism. Sometimes, all it takes is a friendly smile or a nod that says, “I’ve been there; you’ve got this.” If you happen to have a lollipop in your bag or a funny cat video on your phone, I’d gladly welcome your help in distracting my kid! Just toss me a lifeline; it means more than you know, and I promise to pay it forward.
Interestingly, as fate would have it, I ended up right behind that rude guy in the checkout line. My son had calmed down and was quite content. The boy asked me, “Is he happy now?” “Yes, buddy, he is! You’re so sweet for checking on him,” I replied with a voice just loud enough for Dad to hear. The father ignored me, but I chose to refrain from any drastic measures—after all, I wasn’t dressed for a mugshot.
In a twist of fate, the man’s card ended up getting declined. Thank you, universe!
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Summary:
Kindness can go a long way in parenting. Instead of casting judgment on fellow parents dealing with meltdowns, let’s offer a smile or a helping hand. Everyone’s journey is tough, and a little empathy can make a world of difference. Remember, you never know what someone else is going through, and a small act of kindness can uplift a struggling parent.