7 Ways I’m Just Like Olivia Lane

home insemination Kit

I won’t sugarcoat it; I’ve missed my girl Olivia Lane this summer (yes, we’re on a first-name basis). At first, I thought it was just a sign that I needed to spice up my suburban life and yearned for the excitement of her dramatic escapades. But then it hit me: we’re kindred spirits! Surprisingly, we share more than a few traits (though I must admit, my wardrobe is more about versatile black than her iconic white).

Now, I know what you might be thinking: “Oh, she means the actress!” Sure, Kerry Lane comes to mind, especially after spotting her on the cover of that glossy magazine talking about her “Kick-Ass Career: ‘It’s Handled.’” But let’s be clear; I’m talking about Olivia Lane, the character, and here’s why:

1. I have two adorable guys competing for my attention every single day. Both want to snuggle up on the couch with me (or at least demand I fetch their blankets without blocking the TV). They seek my opinion on world-altering decisions, like “Is it too hot for knee-high socks?” Each one tries to win me over, and I can’t bear to choose between them. (Can I be at a baseball game and a soccer game simultaneously?).

2. I know my loved ones have their flaws, but they’re my tribe, and I’d go to great lengths to protect them. My loyalty isn’t misplaced; I’m sure it’ll pay off someday when I’m chaperoning a high school dance or, who knows, becoming a mother-in-law.

3. I’m a fixer. This week, I salvaged a Frozen charm necklace, and last week it was a broken plastic goalpost. Who knows what I’ll tackle next? My “magical” glue collection is always at the ready, and I’m not afraid to use it (the glues, that is; I do love a catchy tagline).

4. I frequently find myself cleaning up after others. It seems I attract people who need a helping hand, and honestly, I can’t resist. Some might call me an enabler or question my judgment (much like Olivia, I’m surrounded by a few who have a knack for trouble), but I see it as a gift—how could I not embrace it?

5. I’m a bit of a gladiator myself. Making an inflatable sword disappear before it torments my younger sibling is no easy feat. And my lips are sealed about my methods (unless you can crack the code to my super-secret stash before the trash collection this week!).

6. I wear the white hat in the kitchen. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a slew of healthy snacks in between—I may not always nail the execution, but they still call me the family chef (unless I opt for takeout, of course).

7. When I dance around the living room with an impressively large glass of red wine in hand, let’s just say my couch sometimes pays the price.

So, Olivia, how about a girls’ night this Thursday? Whether we’re soaking up the sun or adventuring in Vermont, I’m game! Because this mama is ready for a scandal that’s way more exciting than cereal up someone’s nose or a library late fee.

For more on navigating the journey of parenthood, check out our post on intracervical insemination. If you’re seeking expert advice on the path to parenthood, Make a Mom provides excellent resources. And for comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, UCSF Center is a fantastic resource.

In summary, I may not have Olivia’s glamorous life, but our shared experiences make me feel like we could totally hang out. Who knows? We could even end up co-starring in our own little adventure!