5 Things You’ll Need to Let Go of When Adopting

As a proud mom of three lovely kids, all of whom joined our family shortly after birth, I can tell you that my journey through adoption was a bit of a wild ride. Being a classic Type A person, I found the unpredictable nature of adoption quite challenging at first. With every new child, I’ve learned to relax a bit and embrace the unknown—kind of like when you’re trying a new dish at a restaurant. So, if you’re on the adoption path, here are five things you might have to give up along the way.

1. Your Privacy

Going through a home study is about as comfortable as a dentist appointment. You have to lay bare your entire life for a social worker to scrutinize. From your finances and past relationships to your parenting style and home environment, everything is up for discussion. And once you adopt, everyone will likely have questions like “How much did that little cutie cost?” or “Why wasn’t he raised by his biological mother?” Trust me, stock up on your favorite boxed wine for these moments.

2. Financial Freedom

Let’s be real: adoption can be expensive. You’ll face application fees, home study costs, placement fees, and travel expenses, among other things. But the real shocker is how much it costs to raise a child. Between dance classes, soccer practice, and art supplies, the expenses can stack up faster than you can say “minivan payment.” You might find yourself wondering how you ended up broke but still considering expanding your family.

3. Control

Adopting means saying goodbye to a lot of control. You don’t decide when your child joins your family or which child that will be; it’s a bit like ordering a surprise meal at a restaurant—exciting but a little nerve-wracking! Learning to let go of control will save you from unnecessary stress (and maybe a shopping spree to cope). Embrace the journey, and remember that a little wine can make the wait a lot more enjoyable.

4. Your Pride

Get ready to dig into some humble pie. With your privacy out the window, control flying away, and finances dwindling, life won’t feel glamorous like a reality TV show. But that’s okay! Being humble is more important than being proud. Connect with other adoptive parents, share experiences, and seek support from those who understand. This journey is about being open, empathetic, and willing to learn.

5. Expectations

I’ve adopted three kids, and not one of their adoptions unfolded as I had envisioned. Each experience had its own surprises, hurdles, and paperwork delays. Instead of aiming for low expectations, consider having little to no expectations at all. The adoption journey is full of surprises, and the sooner you pour yourself a glass of wine and settle in, the more prepared you’ll be for the adventure ahead.

Letting go of these aspects can help you make room for the joy of welcoming a new family member. Remember, focus on the love and happiness that comes with bringing a child into your life.

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Summary

Adopting a child is a rewarding yet challenging journey that requires letting go of privacy, financial comfort, control, pride, and expectations. Embracing these changes can pave the way for a more joyful experience as you welcome a new family member into your life.