How My Sister Became My Best Friend

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“It’s a girl!”

My grandmother’s gentle whisper stirred me awake in the middle of the night, and I was filled with a rush of excitement. I couldn’t sleep, my mind racing with anticipation.

The next day at school, I proudly announced to my first-grade classmates, “I have a baby sister!” When we visited the hospital, my dad hoisted me up so I could look through the nursery window. I pressed my forehead against the cool glass, gazing at the little bundle of joy—my sister, whom we named Emma. She was the cutest little butterball, and we affectionately called her Emmy.

My older brother had been hoping for a boy, and for once, I felt like I had triumphed. I couldn’t believe my luck. Little did I know it would take years for me to feel this way about her again.

As toddlers, Emmy would come to my door, eager to play, and I would slam it in her face. By the time she reached first grade, I was envious of her social skills. While she spent weekends at friends’ houses, my brother and I would pile into the car with our parents, heading to places like antique shops or estate sales. I didn’t mind. Just being with my original crew—my family—felt perfect.

I remember overhearing my mom chatting with her friends in middle school. When they discussed parenting, one friend remarked how I must be a huge help, thanks to the six-year age gap between Emmy and me. My mom never corrected them, but I knew I was far from helpful; I often treated my sister with disdain.

My mom said I resented Emmy out of jealousy, claiming it was natural for me to feel displaced as the baby of the family. I dismissed her theory as nonsense, insisting that I simply found my sister annoying. After school, she wanted to watch her shows, while I preferred Oprah. I needed the computer for homework, but she wanted to play games. I wished she’d just disappear.

Then I left for college. That distance changed everything. No longer did we have to compete for bathroom time, the cordless phone, or the last cookie. With the space between us, I finally began to understand my mom’s wisdom.

About a month into my freshman year, Emmy called me in tears, convinced our parents were heading for divorce. I told her they always fought, but as she sobbed, I longed to comfort her. At that moment, my little sister transformed from my rival into my closest confidante.

When she visited me during my senior year, I was thrilled. She was 15, and I gladly lent her my clothes and took her to a party where we shared drinks and laughter. Afterward, we crashed on my futon, and I made her promise not to tell our parents about our wild weekend.

Before heading to graduate school, my mom insisted I sort through the contents of my childhood room. Among the clutter, I found a card I’d made when Emmy was a baby and sick with a fever. I had drawn a woman with a mass of black hair holding a small figure with two dots for eyes, along with another smaller figure with brown pigtails. Above the drawing, I wrote: “I will help you. Will you help me?”

Now as an adult, I call Emmy for everything and nothing. I ask her if quinoa can be frozen, whether feeling murderous toward your spouse during family visits is normal, what she’s currently reading, and how she keeps her cool around our mom. Just as I promised so many years ago, she helps me navigate life, despite the miles that separate us.

After the birth of my second child, when I felt overwhelmed, Emmy flew out on a whim. Her presence alone reminded me that things would improve. Between sleepless nights and the challenges of new motherhood, I realized that she truly understands me in ways that no one else can. We share the same parents, childhood memories, and quirks. Our unique bond, formed through shared experiences and genetics, is something I never expected. The little sister I longed for all those years ago has become my best friend.

For more insights on navigating family dynamics and motherhood, check out this blog post for some great stories. Additionally, if you’re looking for expert advice on fertility, Make a Mom has excellent resources, and Facts About Fertility is a fantastic source for pregnancy and home insemination topics.

Summary:

Over the years, Jenna’s relationship with her sister Emmy evolved from rivalry to a deep friendship. Initially, Jenna found Emmy annoying, but distance and life experiences shifted their dynamic. Now, they share a bond grounded in understanding and support, making their sisterly connection invaluable.