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Coming Clean: I’m a Sober Vegetarian
They say that the first step towards healing and liberation is to be honest about who you are, no matter the potential backlash. Among my close friends and family, I’ve been somewhat open about my unconventional lifestyle choice. However, in wider circles and social situations, I’ve kept it under wraps. It’s time to share my truth: I am a sober vegetarian, and I’ve embraced this lifestyle for over 15 years.
To be frank, it hasn’t been easy for anyone involved. My family, friends, partners, and even well-meaning event planners have all faced challenges in trying to understand and accommodate my choices. Their efforts have been appreciated, yet I often feel a sense of isolation—not because I crave barbecues or cocktails, but due to the struggle of being open about my dietary choices and managing the awkwardness that follows.
As a result, I often find myself explaining my lifestyle at gatherings. It can be quite stressful! Circulating through parties, politely declining cocktails, beers, and meat-laden appetizers, I sometimes wish I could just stand on a table and announce my truth, complete with an explanatory speech. Instead, I often resort to pouring grape juice into my wine glass and feigning a lack of appetite to sidestep the whole ordeal.
Some well-intentioned strangers still insist on serving me meaty dishes, suggesting I just pick off the parts I don’t want. My cheeky side sometimes dreams of offering them a tofu appetizer and telling them to do the same. But I usually opt for tranquility and keep those thoughts to myself.
And it’s not just meat-eaters who have tried to “save” me. I can’t even count the number of drinks I’ve poured out, trying to be polite to those who use alcohol as a social lubricant. To those I might have offended by discarding those drinks, I sincerely apologize.
I recognize that honesty is crucial, and I understand it may seem childish to avoid the truth. However, every time I’ve tried to simply say “no thanks,” it leads to a long line of questions, almost an intervention. I often find myself listening to medical reasons why I should eat meat or drink alcohol, as if I’m somehow unaware of my iron and protein deficiencies—or the supposed dangers of not indulging in red wine.
For the past 15 years, I’ve lived with the peculiar shame that many sober vegetarians understand. The double life of pretending to enjoy meat or alcohol has caught up with me. I’ve taken stock of my situation and acknowledged my choices that may inconvenience others while also leaving me frustrated with the expectations of the meat-eating, drink-loving majority. So, I’m ready to clear the air.
I owe an apology to the waitstaff at various restaurants who may have been confused when I ordered “No meat!” only for them to bring me a meaty dish. I also forgive the friends and family who insist that salad places have vegetarian options. I release the guilt I’ve carried for sneaking tofu into meals without telling my unsuspecting partners, in hopes of winning them over to my side.
To my neighbors, I apologize for the times I’ve tricked your senses into thinking I was grilling chicken or beef when I was actually just soaking eggplant and veggie burgers in steak sauce. And to everyone at the Super Bowl parties I’ve hosted, please forgive me for taking pleasure in watching you enjoy non-alcoholic drinks and meatless wings. Lastly, to my dear friends, I hope you can forgive me for crafting strong drinks that may have led to some wild moments and regrettable snapshots shared publicly.
Fifteen years is a long time to live in the shadows of secrecy and shame. I understand the awkwardness around my choices won’t vanish overnight, but with the understanding and forgiveness of my friends and family, I can now confidently declare, “Hi, I’m Jenna, and I’m a sober vegetarian—and that’s perfectly fine.”
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In summary, my journey as a sober vegetarian has been filled with challenges, awkward moments, and realizations. I’ve learned the importance of honesty and the need to embrace my choices confidently, even if it means navigating uncomfortable social situations.