You know, I’ve got a bit of a character flaw—a pretty short fuse. Mix that with my perfectionist tendencies, and it’s a recipe for some serious moments of regret when it comes to parenting. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve had to say “I’m sorry” to my kids after losing it in ways that would make their own meltdowns look like child’s play. Now that they’re in the tween and teen phases, life has gotten a whole lot busier and more stressful, which means I’ve raised my voice more than I’m proud of.
I grew up in a household where yelling was the norm, but I can’t recall ever hearing my parents say they were sorry. As a child, that made me feel small and undervalued. When I became a parent, I entered into it with the belief that my word was final and anything else was just wrong. It wasn’t until I saw that same sense of hurt reflected in my kids that I realized how important it was for them to hear me admit when I was wrong.
There’s definitely a debate about whether parents should apologize to their kids, but I firmly believe we should. Here’s why:
- It Teaches Them to Apologize: When our kids mess up, we often tell them to say sorry. But they learn best by watching us. When I admit my mistakes and say I’m sorry, it shows them how to do it themselves. This kind of real-life example makes a lasting impression.
- It Shows Respect: Kids are people too! If I respect adults enough to apologize when I’ve wronged them, why wouldn’t I do the same for my children? Not apologizing sends the message that they aren’t deserving of my respect, and that’s not a message I want to convey.
- It Keeps Me Humble: Life is all about learning, and every day brings new lessons. I want my kids to see that I’m not perfect and that I’m always open to growth. Apologizing for my missteps is a great way to model that teachability.
- It Shows We’re Human: Parents aren’t infallible. Just like them, we make mistakes. I want my kids to understand that it’s okay to be imperfect and that making things right is part of the journey.
Sure, I’m bound to mess up again as both a person and a parent. What matters most is that I remember to apologize when the moment calls for it. It’s simply the right thing to do.
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Summary
In this reflective piece, Jamie Carter shares her journey of acknowledging mistakes as a parent. She emphasizes the importance of apologizing to her children, teaching them respect, humility, and the understanding that even parents can be wrong. Through heartfelt apologies, she aims to foster a learning environment that values growth and imperfection.