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Grandparent Detox: A 5-Step Survival Guide
As summer winds down, many parents of young kiddos find themselves grappling with the notorious “Grandparent Detox.” Children adore their grandparents, and the feeling is mutual. This sweet bond leads to freezers overflowing with popsicles, endless rounds of Candyland, and an avalanche of gifts and treats simply for being awesome kids.
But beware—this love can be quite intense. Once kids get a taste, they’re hooked. I can only imagine that before our visits, grandparents brainstorm ways to secure their grandkids’ loyalty. “Let’s start with ice cream for breakfast, throw in a three-hour ‘Thomas the Train’ marathon, and maybe a trip to the moon!”
So, when it’s time to return to reality after a grandparent visit, the kids are often in shock. “But we haven’t roasted marshmallows yet!” They gaze into the pantry, bewildered. “Why don’t we have chocolate bars like Grandma does?” Even the idea of a bath can trigger an epic meltdown. “I didn’t have to take a bath at Grandpa’s house! He said the hot tub was just as good!”
When the withdrawal kicks in, it manifests as a long, whiny, sobbing meltdown, and thus begins the Grandparent Detox. How long will it last? Simple math: Take the total time spent with grandparents and double it. So, if your kids enjoyed three days with Grandma, brace yourself for six days of detox.
This process is tough on both kids and parents. Here are five steps to help everyone survive:
- Be Understanding
It’s crucial to recognize that kids need time to readjust. Be patient and gently guide them back from their grandparent high. If Grandma had the Disney Channel on non-stop during their visit, it might be a shock to suddenly cut them off. Allow for a few hours of TV upon returning home and gradually decrease it each day. You can use this time to tackle unpacking—after all, if the trip lasted four days, it might take eight days to fully unpack. - Be Firm
If there’s one thing grandparents aren’t known for, it’s being firm. During our last visit, I had just settled the kids down for a nap when Grandma suggested I take a snooze too. When I awoke from my refreshing nap, I found my 2-year-old in full meltdown mode. “What happened?” I asked. “Well, don’t be mad,” Grandma replied. “He came to the kitchen looking all cute, and I just couldn’t say no.” After days of indulgence at Grandma’s, the kids need you to reinforce the rules. Stand your ground, and don’t let them slide. - Use Threats
Imagine you’ve firmly explained that a spontaneous trip to the store for Lucky Charms isn’t happening. Yet, if this leads to a tantrum, it might be time to employ some creative threats. It’s an unfair battle—of course, kids prefer their grandparents over parents. For example:
– Grandpa: “Let’s go to the stables and pet some horses!”
– Mommy: “Time for a doctor’s appointment and shots.”
Naturally, your little ones will fight tooth and nail to escape back to their dreamland. You might have to say something like, “Stop screaming or you’ll never see Grandma again!” - Seek Help From a Higher Power
Sometimes, admitting defeat is the wisest move. When all else fails, close your eyes and call a grandma for backup. Beg her to keep the kids for a few extra days! - Repeat Steps 1 to 4
It’s a never-ending cycle. Grandparents, if you keep spoiling them like this, your grandkids might just want to stay at your house forever!
This article was originally published on September 29, 2015. For more information on home insemination and related topics, check out this post on intracervical insemination.
In summary, navigating the Grandparent Detox can be challenging for both kids and parents. By being understanding, firm, and occasionally seeking help, you can make the transition smoother for everyone involved. For additional insights on pregnancy and home insemination, visit the CDC or explore resources at Make A Mom.