Hey there, Twentysomething Yogi!
I couldn’t help but catch your conversation right before class, where you were reminiscing with your friend about how you’d love to travel back to the ’90s. Then, I noticed you snapping a #blessed selfie with your perfectly pedicured toes and your SmartWater. Honestly, I’m not sure if the ’90s would be your scene.
First off, if you found yourself back in the ’90s, you wouldn’t be enjoying this chic studio. Instead, you’d be stuck in a sweaty, mirrored gym, waiting for step aerobics while some guy in baggy pants tried to hit on you. You’d probably roll your eyes and silently count down the minutes until class started.
But hey, did you know there was no Tinder back then? Meeting guys meant awkwardly striking up conversations with strangers. Swapping phone numbers on a napkin was the equivalent of a right swipe—most of the time, it didn’t happen. The ’90s could get pretty lonely.
Also, forget Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. Hashtags were things you’d only see in a different context altogether! Vacation photos lived in dusty albums and dinner conversations stayed offline. If you made plans, you stuck to them—no last-minute cancellations because no one had cell phones to reach each other.
We relied on landlines and phone books, writing letters that went through the postal service. When we finally got email, it felt like magic, even if it was a long string of characters. And let’s not even start on dial-up Internet, which monopolized the phone line—so if you were hoping for a call from that cute guy at the gym, good luck!
It’s easy to romanticize the ’90s, thinking everyone looked like Rachel from Friends, but let me tell you, that haircut was a disaster waiting to happen. And mullets? They were everywhere. Your boss, your boyfriend, even celebrities had them!
I’ll give you credit for missing out on some iconic music. But for every legendary artist like Billy Corgan, there was a Billy Ray Cyrus. The ’90s had its fair share of cringe-worthy hits, complete with the Macarena and all.
Your generation thinks ’90s fashion is just one big joke, and honestly, you’re not far off. But would you really wear it all—mock turtlenecks, high-waisted Girbaud jeans, and white sneakers? You’d smell like CK One and secondhand smoke, which was a common thing back then. No vaping, just straight-up smoke filling the air—even in restaurants!
While the ’90s lacked a Kim Kardashian, we had Robert Kardashian, which was a whole different kind of drama. We were glued to the O.J. trial, the infamous navy blue dress, and the looming panic of Y2K.
That said, your nostalgia is understandable. The ’90s had its charm, but it wasn’t the endless festival that Urban Outfitters might lead you to believe. Embrace your own time and space with your selfies and SmartWater. One day, you’ll look back on your generation and truly appreciate how #blessed you were.
But until then? Just remember, stay in your lane, friend.
Namaste,
Your Friendly Middle-Aged Observer at Yoga
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Summary
This light-hearted letter reflects on the differences between the ’90s and today, playfully reminding a young yoga enthusiast that while nostalgia is nice, the past had its challenges. Embrace your own time and appreciate your experiences, and don’t forget to look into resources for home insemination and fertility.