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We Need a PMS Pause Button
Updated: July 2, 2020
Originally Published: Oct. 2, 2015
As I get older, my list of PMS symptoms just keeps expanding. Right now, I’m dealing with a pounding headache, acid reflux, extreme irritability (I’ve told my family to maintain a safe distance of at least 10 feet), sore breasts, a bloated belly, cramps, and the latest addition: my back and shoulders ache like I’ve just completed an intense four-hour workout (believe me, I haven’t). Why must my hormones be so relentless? Just a day or two after my period starts, all of these unpleasant symptoms fade away, and I feel rejuvenated, but until then, all I want to do is stay in my pajamas and hide beneath the covers.
During my 20s and early 30s, PMS mainly brought on irritability and weight gain. While that was enough to ruin a week, now that I’m a busy and exhausted mom juggling family and work, I can’t help but wonder if biology is playing a cruel joke on me by intensifying my PMS symptoms.
The saga began six months after my first baby was born when I got my first postpartum period. Initially, I was overjoyed to find that my cramps were much milder than before. I theorize that stretching my uterus to the max during pregnancy had some perks. But soon I noticed that the cramps seemed to be located much lower, almost like my uterus had taken a dive into my vagina or my butt—such a lovely thought, right?
Not long after that, I started experiencing severe digestive issues. My hormones decided to wreak havoc on my colon, leading to a nasty case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome that escalated during PMS (and ovulation too, but that’s another story for another day). A few years later, acid reflux joined the party, followed by headaches. Fast forward to today, and I’m limping around the living room clutching my sore back.
I really wish I could hit the pause button on life during PMS and the first day of my period. Honestly, I don’t accomplish much during this time anyway, and I’m not exactly pleasant company. Today, my husband (bless his heart) suggested I retreat to the den with some chocolate while he handles dinner for the kids. That little gesture was life-saving—for both me and my family.
Many cultures have fascinating rituals related to menstruation, and I’m intrigued by the idea of a “menstrual hut,” where women gather during their periods. While I don’t advocate for isolating women due to their natural cycles (menstruation shouldn’t be viewed as “unclean” or taboo!), I find the concept of women taking a ceremonial break during this time quite appealing. In some cultures, women synchronize their cycles and come together to chat and vent—sounds delightful.
My mom assures me that things will improve after menopause. She vividly remembers her own PMS mood swings (and I remember them, too—unfortunately). But I also recall that her journey to menopause wasn’t exactly smooth sailing either. It felt like I heard about her hot flashes for a decade. Frankly, I’m just as anxious about “the change” as I am about “the curse.” Still, if it means an end to the monthly barrage of awful symptoms, I’m all in.
If you want to read more about these experiences, check out this article on our blog, and for more on pregnancy-related topics, visit Hopkins Medicine.