No Need to Feel Sorry for Me for Having ‘Another’ Son

home insemination Kit

I’m expecting my second child—another boy! After this, we’re done. And honestly, I couldn’t be happier about it. But I’ve just realized that I’ll likely spend the next few years reassuring people that I’m totally fine with this.

The phenomenon of gender disappointment is real, where parents feel let down if their child isn’t the gender they wanted. But I’m experiencing something completely different: gender joy. I’m overjoyed to be welcoming another healthy baby into our family. I’ve made it through the first trimester feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck (minus the tequila).

Most of my friends know how excited I am to have two boys, especially after a challenging journey to get here. But every time I meet someone new, the same old conversation plays out. I’m only 17 weeks along, and I’ve already had countless variations of these exchanges. For example:

Stranger: “Is this your first?”
Me: “No, I have a son.”
Stranger: “Do you know what you’re having this time?”
Me: “Another boy!”
Stranger [smile fading]: “Oh! Well, that’s OK, right? Boys are fun. And you’ll have a girl next time!”

Honestly, nobody warned me this would happen. While these conversations don’t offend me, I’m not thrilled about having to explain myself for the next several months. And then, for years to come, I’ll be saying, “No, we’re done, and we’re totally fine without a girl.”

To those all-boy moms out there with teenagers or grown sons: are you still saying, “It’s fine having all boys”? One acquaintance even told me, “Congratulations! Except you’re going to die alone, because boys don’t take care of their parents when they get older.” I was waiting for a punchline, but she was dead serious.

You want to hear a secret? I actually wanted two boys! I know how to handle diaper changes and the chaos that comes along with little boys. They’re loud, sweet, and sometimes a little gross, and I love that my son will have a brother to grow up with. While any mix of genders would have been wonderful, I’m genuinely thrilled with what I’ve got. Yet, it seems like the world expects me to want a girl.

So let’s clear this up for everyone I encounter at the grocery store, coffee shop, or even the doctor’s office:

• Yes! I have two boys!
• No, we never tried for a girl.
• Yes! Two boys can be a handful, but it’s amazing!
• No, we’re not having a third child. Would you like to hear about my fertility journey?
• No, I don’t want your homeopathic recipe for conceiving a girl.
• Yes, we have a lot of toy trucks, but who knows, brother number two might like princesses!
• Yes, I have nieces who love Frozen, so I can get that fix whenever I need it.
• That’s nice you know someone with two boys who had a girl later—still not happening.
• No, I don’t hate girls, nor do I have a dysfunctional relationship with my mother; in fact, I think she’s amazing. I’m just a proud boy mama, and that’s pretty darn awesome.

I hope I don’t spend my life feeling defensive about being daughterless. Instead, I want to focus on being grateful for my two healthy boys, teaching them to bake cookies, hold doors open, play sports, give great hugs, and treat everyone with kindness.

And when my friends are busy with mother-daughter brunches, I’ll happily tag along to pour mimosas for the moms—or maybe just sleep in, because boys tend to sleep in, right? Right?! Okay, just humor me and say yes.

If you’re interested in more on this topic, check out this article on terms and conditions for additional resources. You can also find great home insemination kits at Cryobaby. For more insights, visit Science Daily, which is an excellent resource for all things fertility and pregnancy.

Summary: I’m thrilled to be expecting my second son, and while the world seems to expect me to want a girl, I’m embracing my role as a boy mom. I love the idea of my sons having each other as brothers, and I hope to focus on the joys of parenting rather than societal expectations.