8 College Scholarships I Wish Were Real

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As a mom of a soon-to-be college-bound teenager, I’m feeling that familiar sense of overwhelm—like the time I first brought my daughter Mia home from the hospital. Navigating financial aid has been a wild ride, akin to wading through quicksand. Recently, while searching for college funding options online, I found myself daydreaming about the ultimate scholarships that could make a difference for Mia and countless other teens. Here’s my whimsical list of eight scholarships I wish existed:

1. Texting Proficiency
   Applicants need to demonstrate mastery of current texting lingo and be skilled multitaskers, juggling homework, music, and texting all at once. Bonus points for those who can summarize their life stories in 140 characters or less!
2. The Useless Knowledge Award
   For all those hours spent diving deep into anime or other niche interests, this scholarship rewards students for their extensive knowledge. Applicants could submit a 5,000-word essay on their favorite subject—extra credit for tackling the history of a series like Hetalia, which could double as a world history lesson.
3. Master Debater
   Not to be confused with debate team scholarships, this one is for the teens who can argue their point passionately (and loudly) at home. Applicants would submit a video of themselves debating trivial topics, like whether Star Wars or Star Trek is superior, with points awarded for volume and repetition.
4. Drama Queen (or King)
   Need I say more? The teenage drama is real, and this scholarship would celebrate those who can turn any situation into a full-blown production.
5. Unique Filing Systems
   This one’s for those whose rooms look like a tornado hit them. Students would submit a photo of their chaos along with a list of 25 hidden items. Winners would be determined by how well judges can decipher their “system.”
6. Mood Swing Mastery
   Mia can go from ecstatic to inconsolable at the drop of a hat—often over the most trivial requests. This scholarship would require a video capturing her emotional rollercoaster, with points for the number of mood changes and the smallest triggers.
7. Manipulation Arts
   This scholarship would reward teens for their expert persuasion skills. Applicants can submit a written or video account of how they convinced their parents to give in, with points for the techniques used and the charm displayed before and after getting what they want.
8. Queen of the Universe
   This isn’t about beauty—it’s about the undeniable fact that, to her, the universe revolves around her whims. The scholarship would require proof of her belief that all suggestions from her parents are foolish while accepting similar ideas from peers with grace.

While these scholarships would be limited to undergraduate students, I like to think they would capture the essence of the teenage experience. They would shine a light on the challenges and quirks we face during these years.

For more insights on topics like this, check out our other blog post on home insemination at intracervicalinsemination.com. And for a trusted source on pregnancy, visit CDC’s infertility page. If you’re considering starting a family, be sure to look into expert advice at Make a Mom.

In short, while these scholarships are all in good fun, they do highlight the unique experiences of navigating teenage life.