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I’ll Be Honest: I’m a Cyberchondriac
For about a week now, I’ve been dealing with a slight sore throat—nothing major, just a little discomfort, mostly noticeable when I gulp down that first glass of water in the morning. While I haven’t dashed off to the doctor or a walk-in clinic yet, I find myself spending my free moments mulling over the possibilities: Could it be allergies? Stress? Postnasal drip? Or maybe the onset of throat cancer? My logical side knows it’s likely one of the first few options, but that last thought lingers in my mind, much like my tendency to overthink when trying to figure out if I’m experiencing gas pains or something more serious like a heart attack. Yep, I’m a cyberchondriac.
“Cyberchondria” is described by Microsoft Research as “the unfounded escalation of concerns about common symptomatology, based on the review of search results and literature on the Web.” In simpler terms, I often end up convincing myself that I’m afflicted with some rare disease after Googling a pretty standard symptom I’m having. Generally, the more vague the symptom, the longer my list of potential fatal illnesses becomes, leading me down a rabbit hole of disease-specific forums. I can’t even count how many times I’ve stumbled into a chat room dedicated to leprosy.
Like many quirks that seem to run in families, I’m convinced this one is inherited. As a kid, I watched my mom flip through an old medical encyclopedia ominously titled “Diseases of Women” while trying to pinpoint whatever ailment she believed she had. “Have you ever heard of idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura?” she’d ask nonchalantly, sitting cross-legged on the floor, perusing the yellowed pages. “I think I might have it.”
Honestly, I can’t remember if I worried that whatever wild self-diagnosis my mom came up with would somehow be passed down to me (unless I have forgotten due to amnesia or early-onset Alzheimer’s, which are always possibilities). Growing up just before the internet explosion meant I didn’t have access to the vast wealth of online health information available now. Instead, I would compare my symptoms to those of friends and family.
“My arm hurts. Remember Aunt Linda? Her arm hurt before she had a stroke.”
“Yes, but Aunt Linda was 89 and had been in bed for years, and you’re 15 and about to go skateboarding.”
“Still…”
My exhaustive research methods have expanded right alongside the internet’s growth. WebMD, with whom I have an almost personal relationship, recently told me that the trendy term for my condition is “somatic symptom disorder,” which means a disorder centered around bodily symptoms. For each little ache or pain, there’s a whole list of potential conditions to investigate.
Take headaches, for instance. According to the WebMD Symptom Tracker, there are over 65 possible illnesses linked to a “sudden onset dull headache.” Sure, a tension headache is the most likely culprit, but how can I rule out migraines, meningitis, or even Cryptococcus, a fungus found in bird droppings? I do live near birds, after all.
I’ve often wondered why I can’t just apply common sense to my self-diagnoses (like, “My toe hurts because I stubbed it, not because of neuropathy”) and instead always consider the worst-case scenario. Maybe I feel the need to think about the extreme possibilities just to keep reality at bay. Or perhaps the idea of making assumptions doesn’t sit well with me because you can never be too sure. Maybe I just think I’m too special for something as mundane as a cold.
One might think I spend endless hours in the emergency room chatting with nurses and doctors, but in truth, my obsession rarely leads me out of the house. By the time I’ve scoured the internet for potential disorders, viruses, or ailments, usually my symptoms have vanished. I’m left to sheepishly admit that it might just have been allergies—likely to my husband, who stands there with a smug grin.
This article was originally published on Oct. 6, 2015.
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Summary
The article discusses the author’s humorous struggles with cyberchondria, where minor symptoms lead to wild self-diagnoses fueled by internet research. It reflects on the inherited nature of this tendency and the absurdity of worrying about rare diseases instead of accepting simpler explanations.