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What It’s Like to Have Kids Five Years Apart
“So, how far apart are your kiddos?” asks the cheerful brunette mom as we watch our daughters twirl in their tutus, dancing like little stars.
“Five years!” I respond, anticipating the usual surprised look.
“Did you plan that?” she inquires, catching me off guard. I’m not used to such a deep dive into family planning.
“Well, there were a couple of pregnancy losses between them,” I admit, surprising myself with my honesty. I usually dance around the truth about my parenting journey. I skip over the part about my divorce and subsequent marriage that also shaped the timeline between my two little ones.
She composes herself, clearly not expecting my candid reply. I almost feel bad for her, but if you’re going to ask about someone’s family planning, you should be ready for an honest answer—even if it’s uncomfortable.
Honestly, I never intended to have a five-year gap between my children. In my younger days, I envisioned having two or three kids close in age, wrapping up my baby-making by 30. But then life threw a curveball—separation, divorce, tracking my ovulation, and too many disappointing pregnancy tests later, here I am.
Despite the unexpected timing, there are definitely some perks. When I was on maternity leave with my second child, my oldest was in kindergarten all day. It felt like having a first baby all over again, but without the anxiety. Some days, it resembled a mini-vacation—sure, I was exhausted, but I got to binge-watch my favorite shows while nursing a happy baby. Can I sign up for that again?
Having kids five years apart means navigating puberty with one while helping the other conquer potty training. It’s listening to Kidz Bop blasting from the upstairs room while The Wiggles sing about hot potatoes downstairs, wishing I could just crank up the 80s Pandora station instead.
It means guiding one child through the awkward years of hair obsession and wardrobe changes, while reminding the younger one that mom always comes back after preschool. It’s about hugging both of them as they sob for completely different reasons.
With this age gap, there’s a mix of Daniel Tiger and Austin & Ally, yet not enough Grey’s Anatomy or Scandal. And then there’s the delightful surprise when they both discover a show they love—Transformers: Rescue Bots, who knew?
Cleaning up on weekends often means vacuuming up goldfish crumbs while listening to my older child lament the unfairness of having to put her laundry away.
Having kids five years apart means long hours spent helping my eldest with homework while pretending to listen to the youngest explain her latest fantasies of being a unicorn, a coyote, a horse, and a robot (because why not?).
Trips to Disneyland are filled with unexpected magic; I knew my preschooler would be excited about Doc McStuffins, but I didn’t anticipate my nine-year-old shouting, “I love you, Ariel!” during the parade.
Every day is a wonder as I witness my children genuinely enjoying each other’s company. Whatever “Jungle Kids” is, it seems to be the go-to game that they both love.
Having kids five years apart is a mix of gratitude, frustration, and pure joy. It’s not what I envisioned, but I wouldn’t change a thing.
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In summary, having children five years apart is a unique experience filled with ups and downs but ultimately rewarding.