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You’re Right, Kids, I’m Not Perfect
Is it just me, or do 12-year-old boys completely lose their minds when they hit middle school? Because I feel like I’m about to lose mine! My eldest son has managed to misplace hundreds of dollars worth of stuff in just two days.
First, it was his brand new water bottle—the fancy insulated one we picked out specifically for its toughness. But apparently, it doesn’t matter how tough it is if you lose it within the first 24 hours. Then, just two days later, he forgot his bag with his school uniform and shoes after cross-country practice. How does that even happen?
So, there it is: hundreds of dollars’ worth of stuff, just vanished. And the kicker? He doesn’t seem to care at all. I had to let out my frustration in the car during our half-hour commute home, which is pretty much my time to vent.
“You’re right,” he shot back. “I don’t care.”
“Well, you should!” I exclaimed before diving into yet another lecture about responsibility and privileges.
“Oh, like you’re so perfect,” he countered. “You probably lost stuff all the time when you were my age. Nobody is perfect.”
“Okay, you’ve got a point. I’m not perfect. But I did take care of my belongings and took school seriously. If I had lost my brand new water bottle and my clothes, I would have been worried all day about how to tell my parents. I would have cried about it all night, feeling terrible.”
The truth is, all that anxiety I felt was self-imposed. My parents never expected me to be perfect, nor did they punish me when I fell short of my own expectations.
I don’t want my sons to be like me in that way. Living with constant anxiety is a tough gig, and it’s not what I want for them. But I also believe there’s a balance to strike—somewhere between the worry that keeps you up at night and complete indifference. “I’m not perfect,” I repeated. “Nobody is. Just try to pay attention, okay?”
Eventually, my son will either find his missing items or use the money he earned doing chores to replace them. We’re both learning valuable lessons here. He’s figuring out responsibility, while I’m understanding his limits. I’m learning that having a kid who isn’t just like me can be a good thing. Plus, I’m realizing I need to offer my kids the same grace and forgiveness that I sometimes struggle to give myself. And maybe it’s time to rethink giving an irresponsible seventh grader an expensive water bottle when something from the Dollar Spot would suffice!
If you’re interested in more about parenting and self-care, check out this great post on home insemination and the joys of family planning.
In summary, navigating the challenges of parenting and teaching responsibility isn’t easy, especially when kids seem to lose everything in sight. It’s all part of the learning process, for both kids and parents alike.