I bet you didn’t realize I could hear your whispers. I understand the college experience all too well, and I know you were trying to impress your buddies. What you didn’t consider was the impact your words could have on a complete stranger. When one of you said, “Look at her checking out workout clothes. She probably doesn’t even know what a gym is!” I felt a wave of embarrassment wash over me.
This moment happened over three years and 50 pounds ago, but I still feel that heat of shame. When I turned to face you, I could see the surprise on your faces as you realized I was much older than you assumed. You probably thought I was just another mom shopping for her daughter.
What you didn’t know was that I was buying those clothes for myself. I had taken a brave step to return to college in my late 30s to complete my degree. Little did you know, I spent 20 minutes in my car every day, gathering the courage to join you in the classroom. My marriage was falling apart, and I was struggling with my son’s potty training. I was overwhelmed, stress-eating, and yes, I was eyeing those sweatpants because my jeans were painfully tight that day, causing discomfort. That was my last $20 before payday, and I just needed some relief.
Your judgment only pushed me further into my shell, shattering my already fragile self-esteem. You made me feel smaller just when I was trying to rebuild my life. Yet, despite your thoughtless comments, I persevered. I showed up for four semesters and graduated. I navigated the end of my marriage and even managed to potty train my son before winter break. At 38, I made the Dean’s List and lost 50 pounds, leaving those sweatpants behind—except for wearing them around the house or on chilly nights. They still hold sentimental value, with our school’s name emblazoned in pink letters down the side.
Every time I wear them, I’m reminded of that day, but now I focus on how far I’ve come. I often wonder how different things might have been if you’d simply bought your books and moved on.
Words Matter
Before you speak words you think are hidden, consider how you’d feel if those same words were thrown at you. Remember that everyone has their own struggles. In a world where we often hide behind screens, it’s easy to forget the reality of the people we encounter—each one with their own feelings and challenges.
To the college guys in the bookstore: I hope your journeys are easier than mine, but if you ever face tough times, may you cross paths with those who uplift you and remind you that you are more than your current situation. We all deserve a bit of kindness.
Additional Resources
For more insights about navigating parenting and life, check out our post on IntraCervical Insemination. If you’re interested in family planning, Make A Mom is a great resource as well. And for more information about home insemination, Healthline offers excellent guidance.
In Summary
The words we choose can have significant effects on others. A little empathy goes a long way, and we should strive to treat one another with kindness.