Recently, while slipping into a maternity tee, I caught myself thinking, “It’s alright, you’re still postpartum.” But then it hit me—I’m actually two years into the post-postpartum phase! I wrapped up breastfeeding my second child a year ago, and honestly, I thought things would have returned to normal by now. Turns out, I’m not just postpartum; I’m post-postpartum.
Based on what I see on social media, many moms are grappling with this transition. “Things Really Should Have Gone Back To Normal By Now” could easily be our collective anthem, a soulful ballad sung by someone like Adele.
Do You Relate?
So, to all my post-postpartum friends out there: Do you find yourself waking up at the crack of dawn with your heart racing, immediately bombarded by your never-ending to-do list? Do you think, as soon as your eyes flutter open, “I should have prepped the kids’ lunches last night”? Do you wrestle with buckling your toddler into the car seat while juggling your work bag and trying to recall whether you ate breakfast?
These thoughts are classic signals of life as a post-postpartum mom. What really gets me down during this period, both for myself and my fellow mothers, is the guilt that tags along. When you’re running late to daycare or have to dash into a store before work for a toothbrush because you forgot to brush your teeth, you can’t help but think, “Shouldn’t I have figured this out by now?”
Well, let me tell you: No, you shouldn’t. The post-postpartum phase is tough! Many of us haven’t quite managed to shed those last few baby pounds, streamline our morning routines, or whip up a homemade dinner every night.
Unique Challenges of the Post-Postpartum Phase
This post-postpartum period, which for me started when my youngest hit the six-month mark, presents unique challenges, much like pregnancy and the newborn stage did. However, these difficulties often go unnoticed compared to how we easily recognize the struggles of morning sickness or breastfeeding.
One of the biggest challenges of the post-postpartum phase is the relentless fatigue that accompanies raising young children who may still not be sleeping through the night. You can’t really voice your complaints anymore because people don’t quite get why a 2- or 3-year-old might still be waking up. But let’s be real—you’re beyond exhausted. And if you have another child or two, you know that level of tiredness that only years of sleep deprivation can bring.
Real-Life Examples
Even when you think you’ve moved past that, new hurdles arise. Take my friend, Lisa, for example. Her mother-in-law has been hinting at wanting to pass on the Thanksgiving hosting duties, but Lisa is politely declining. “I just can’t handle it,” she confessed. “With a 2½-year-old and a 4-year-old, I have zero downtime. I can’t plan, can’t cook, and certainly can’t deal with the cleanup. And I feel so ashamed to say no. Shouldn’t I be ready for this by now?”
Nope, because she’s in that post-postpartum phase. It’s challenging, and we have every right to decline hosting giant gatherings, opt for low-maintenance hairstyles, or show up to work a bit late.
Expectations vs. Reality
During pregnancy and those early days with a newborn, people often cut you some slack. You can skip events, complain about sleepless nights, and take on lighter workloads. But eventually, there’s an unspoken expectation: “She should be managing by now.” Sometimes, the truth is, we just aren’t.
When Does It End?
When does the post-postpartum phase end? I can’t say—I’m still navigating it myself. Maybe it’s when all your kids are old enough to be in school? But judging by friends with older children, it seems like this phase could extend right into the empty-nest stage.
So, try to give yourself some grace during this time. You’re juggling a lot! And remember, one day, we won’t be in the post-postpartum phase anymore. Someday, we’ll only have ourselves to wrangle in the morning. Honestly, I’m not so sure I’m ready for that, either. I adore my little ones, even if they think it’s amusing to trip me as I rush out the door. I cherish this post-postpartum journey and hope it lingers a bit longer.
Additional Resources
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Conclusion
In summary, the post-postpartum phase can feel overwhelming, filled with fatigue and expectations. It’s okay to feel lost and to give yourself permission to say no to additional responsibilities. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey!