7 Reasons I Might Be the Least Prepared Soccer Mom Ever

home insemination Kit

After attending my 7-year-old daughter Lily’s ballet recital, I witnessed her strike an adorable pose, only to topple into the ballerina beside her, causing a chain reaction of graceful failures. It hit me then that her aspirations of becoming a prima ballerina were not meant to be. Tap dance? A no-go. Hip hop? Let’s just say it was a hot mess. So, I decided to enroll her in soccer camp, and to my surprise, she absolutely thrived! She displayed a natural flair for the sport, combining skill with a newfound confidence.

When fall rolled around, I signed her up for a team, blissfully unaware that I had a lot to learn about being a soccer mom. I missed the memo on the essential traits needed for the role, and through this journey, I’ve discovered seven amusing reasons why I might be the least prepared soccer mom ever.

1. Insect Invasion: The soccer fields seem to attract every type of insect imaginable. While other parents and coaches watch the game, I’m the one flailing around, swatting at invisible foes. It’s a sight to behold!
2. Blame Game: I admit it; I can be a bit dramatic. When a teammate kicks the ball at Lily with alarming force, I can’t help but think, “What are you doing? This is practice, not a UFC match!” I mean, come on—how is that helpful?
3. Mama Bear Mode: Watching my sweet girl get knocked down for the first time was a wake-up call. My husband had to physically hold me back from charging onto the field to protect her from that “hockey player in disguise.” It’s just sports, I know, but still!
4. Lack of Athletic Background: I was more of a music and theater kid. Sports? Not my forte. I once referred to tryouts as “auditions” and halftime as “intermission.” I’m learning the lingo, but I suspect the other moms still chuckle about it.
5. No Soccer Socializing: Unlike the bonding sessions I had with dance moms, soccer moms seem to keep their distance. Maybe it’s the expansive fields that create too much personal space. I’ve tried chatting, only to have others gradually inch away from me. Maybe I just need to work on my conversational skills?
6. Distraction Central: My younger kids can be a handful. That toddler racing toward the goal? Yep, she’s mine. And the 6-year-old crying about boredom? Also mine! The heat and humidity don’t help either, turning practices into a chaotic scene.
7. Sweat, Sweat, and More Sweat: Between the kids and myself, we’re drenched! My hair takes on wild shapes, and I’ve given up on styling it for Saturday games. I’ve embraced a comfy baseball cap and practical attire instead. But here’s the silver lining: everyone is too busy wiping sweat off their faces to notice my tears of pride when Lily focuses intently on the ball. She is strong, confident, and exactly who she’s meant to be.

While the challenges of being a soccer mom can be overwhelming, the joy of watching my daughter flourish makes every struggle worthwhile. If you’re curious about other journeys related to home insemination, you might find our post helpful here. And for more resources on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent guide.

In summary, while I may not fit the mold of a typical soccer mom, my love for my kids and the joy I feel watching them grow is what truly matters. We’re all navigating this journey together, learning and laughing along the way.