Why I Revamped the Colors in My Closet

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I usually find myself glued to my laptop at the local coffee shop, but the other day, two young girls in vibrant outfits caught my eye. One wore a bright pink shirt while the other sported electric blue pants and sneakers that were as green as fresh spring grass. Their chatter transported me back to my teenage years, when the colors of youth were very much alive—before life’s palette dulled to shades of black and gray.

As I sat there in my usual blue jeans and a black top, I reminisced about my carefree days before college, career, and motherhood. Back then, I roamed the mall with the spirit of Ferris Bueller, soaking in every moment. I would browse through stores, breathing in the fresh scent of clothes I couldn’t afford, daydreaming about what could be.

Now, I find myself entrenched in the middle of life—navigating milestones like choosing a career, getting married, and raising my sons. My days revolve around their activities, and while I can finally splurge on a few things, leisurely shopping has become a distant memory. I’ve grown comfortable in the simplicity of black, a color favored by many women in my age group.

Glancing out the window, I couldn’t help but wonder about the last time I wore red—the color my mother always insisted suited me best. I recalled a pair of red sneakers from college, a red blazer I wore in my early career, and a ruby dress I donned for a holiday party that led to a memorable dance with a charming guy who quipped, “May I have this dance with the lady in red?”

Slowly, I began to avoid bold colors, only donning them during vacations or on rare occasions when I felt particularly confident. My mood had become the defining factor in my wardrobe choices. Over the years, I faced various challenges, from parenting struggles to personal losses, which left me feeling a bit gray.

As I reflected, I recognized the subtle fade in my wardrobe. By my late 20s, the vibrant reds had retreated to an occasional colorful accessory, and motherhood ushered in a wardrobe dominated by black, white, gray, and beige—practical choices that had morphed into a monotonous habit.

On my drive to my younger son’s basketball game, I remembered my mother’s recent transformation. Just weeks ago, she excitedly told me, “I’ve been wearing brighter colors lately—you won’t believe it’s me!” I was curious, as she had worn dark tones for as long as I could remember. When I finally saw her closet, it was bursting with vivid colors. “Are you going on a trip or on a date?” I joked. “What’s happened to my mom?”

She laughed and replied, “No, I just thought it would be fun to add some spice!” After years of raising us and working tirelessly, perhaps this was her way of rediscovering herself. She had been hiking and going on road trips—activities I’d never known her to enjoy.

Later that night, I stood in front of my own closet, filled with muted colors, and wondered what had become of the adventurous girl who once threw caution to the wind. More than 20 years later, I found myself constrained by neutrals, constantly telling myself why I shouldn’t take risks instead of exploring how I could.

That week, I decided to change things up. I sneaked an hour at the mall, returning home with a cabernet-colored blouse, purple running shorts, and an emerald-green cardigan (not to be worn together, of course). When I wore the cardigan for the first time, a friend complimented me, saying, “You look great!” while we waited at the bus stop. That day, I also embraced a challenge at work that had made me nervous. My husband later said, “I love that green on you,” making me reflect on how colors can shift our perceptions.

A few months later, during a sermon by a priest in a deep amethyst robe, he shared a thought-provoking perspective on birthdays. Instead of recounting the nativity story, he spoke about celebrating each year as a testament to being a light in the world. Sitting there, I contemplated the graying process of aging and wondered if our vibrancy fades with time or if we can actively keep our inner light shining through our choices.

It’s been four years since that coffee shop moment, and my life has changed in more ways than I can count. I pursued graduate school, traveled to Peru with my family to distribute shoes during a volunteer trip, and even danced with friends again. I’ve learned that being mindful of the colors I wear—no matter how neutral—reminds me to embrace possibility.

Green has become my favorite color to wear. I donned it during my first half-marathon, a journey I undertook to challenge myself and to show my sons that with age comes the opportunity to bloom in various seasons of life.

In summary, I’ve discovered that a simple change in my wardrobe can reflect a rebirth in my outlook on life. Embracing color has not only brightened my closet but also reignited my spirit.