10 Ways We’ve Managed to Stay Together for 28 Years of Marriage

This summer, we celebrated 28 years of marriage—yes, you heard that right, 28! If you’ve done the math, you’ll know we tied the knot back in the ’80s, which explains the outrageous puffy sleeves on my wedding dress. Seriously, they were a thing!

As we look around, it’s hard not to notice that many marriages seem to be wearing thin. Years of annoyances and buried grudges can erode even the strongest connections. So, I thought I’d share some of the key things that have kept us happily united through life’s ups and downs, including welcoming two kids, two puppies, two apartments, and two homes.

1. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Sure, it’s a cliché, but it’s true. If the way he hangs his towel drives you nuts, either rehang it yourself or let it go. He’s not intentionally trying to annoy you. Life’s too short to get bogged down by the little things; save your energy for the big issues that will inevitably crop up.

2. Share When It Makes Sense

If you both love the same toothpaste, share a tube! But let’s be real—some things are just not meant to be shared, like underwear or shoes.

3. Have a Financial Plan

We’ve found that having separate and joint finances works wonders. This way, I don’t have to question his purchases, and he doesn’t have to scrutinize mine. A little personal spending money can go a long way in keeping the peace.

4. Never Take Each Other for Granted

Every relationship that lasts has core appreciation at its heart. On even the dullest days, my heart skips when I see my partner walk through the door, and I let him know. Whether it’s his ability to fix things around the house or my knack for DIY projects, we recognize and cherish each other’s strengths.

5. Spend Time Apart

While we love our time together, having separate experiences—whether it’s a girls’ night out or a business trip—helps add some spice to our conversations when we reunite. Absence really can make the heart grow fonder!

6. Set Shared Goals

Whether it’s a silly project like painting the house or something more meaningful like planning a vacation in Italy, working toward a common goal can create a deeper bond.

7. Look at Each Other Anew

Try to see your partner as if it’s the first time you’re meeting or the last time you’ll ever see them. It’s incredible what you notice when you shift your perspective. Daily life can obscure what truly matters.

8. Physical Touch Matters

It’s the little, unexpected touches that keep the spark alive. A gentle squeeze while grocery shopping or a quick peck while watching TV can strengthen your connection.

9. Find the Humor

Laughter is vital for happiness. My partner manages to make me chuckle every day, even if it’s through his silly jokes or random musical outbursts. Finding something to laugh about can lighten even the heaviest of days.

10. Respect Each Other

This is the cornerstone of our relationship. We don’t always see eye to eye, but our commitment to each other means we respect our differences. I may love broccoli while he’s more of a mushy banana person, but that’s what makes us unique.

Despite everything—maybe even because of it—we’ve managed to hold on to our marriage and even strengthen it by focusing on these simple principles. Or perhaps it was just the puffy sleeves!

For more on navigating life, check out this post about home insemination. If you’re curious about the ins and outs of artificial insemination, Make a Mom offers great insights. And for a wealth of pregnancy and home insemination resources, visit Rmany.

Summary

This article highlights ten essential tips that have helped a couple maintain a strong marriage over 28 years, emphasizing the importance of respect, humor, shared goals, and not sweating the small stuff.