To the Mom of a High School Senior: It’s Absolutely Fine to Indulge Them a Bit

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Hey there, Mom of a high school senior!

If you’re feeling the urge to treat your child a little more this year—whether that means spending extra time with them or doing little thoughtful things—let me encourage you to embrace it. This final year of high school will rush by, and you’ll appreciate every moment you dedicate to making it special for your child.

When my eldest, Max, was a senior, his younger siblings jokingly dubbed it “The Year of Max.” I didn’t deny it; in fact, I wore it as a badge of honor. Sure, they were being a bit dramatic, but there was a certain Max-centric vibe that year. I found myself whipping up his favorite cookies, preparing meals he loved, and stocking up on his preferred snacks. I spoiled him a bit, but it felt right. We both knew that significant changes were on the horizon, and we wanted to savor that last year together.

Throughout high school, Max was the independent type who rarely sought my help with homework (despite my being an English teacher). But during “The Year of Max,” he began asking me to proofread scholarship essays and applications. I cherished those moments! I took every opportunity to assist him: folding his laundry, running errands, and finding ways to make him feel extra special. I admit, I was also looking for ways to feel needed again.

That year, I longed to be the nurturing mother that Max hadn’t allowed me to be for a while. Our college visits were wonderful; just him and me, chatting for hours in the car. I was also anxious to impart any last-minute advice or lessons. Did he know how to use an ATM? Was he aware of the importance of eye contact? Did he understand why it’s beneficial to attend church even when he felt tired? From essential life skills to simple chores, I felt a strong urge to share everything I could think of. It was tough to hold back, but I wanted him to be prepared to leave home, while hoping he wouldn’t bolt out the door too quickly.

I wanted him to miss home a bit, but not so much that he was overwhelmed with homesickness. I cooked and baked with the hope that he’d reminisce about my homemade dishes while sitting with his friends at college.

During “The Year of Max,” I hugged him more frequently and tightly, and he welcomed it. I savored our dinner conversations, even the casual ones. While I tried not to hover, I soaked up every bit of time I could.

Sadly, despite all my efforts, time didn’t slow down. The year flew by! But it was a fantastic time. Now, we have “The Weekend of Max” every so often, and surprisingly, the other kids don’t seem to mind. They miss him too.

Next year will be “The Year of Lily,” followed by “The Year of Ben” and eventually “The Year of Emma.” I’ve learned that even though graduation signifies change, it’s far from the end. They are still my kids, still need me, and they do come back—especially for my famous pecan pie!

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In summary, don’t hesitate to spoil your high school senior this year. These moments are precious, and they’ll create lasting memories for both of you.