No Guests, Please: Our Decision to Spend Time Alone with Our Newborn

home insemination Kit

Long before I even thought about becoming a parent, I remember chatting with my mom about childbirth. She shared that legendary tale about how my dad almost got into a scuffle with her doctor for grumbling about missing his vacation because I decided to arrive ahead of schedule. During our talk, I probably asked her about her experiences in the delivery room and voiced my wish to have her there when my time came.

Fast forward several years, and my perspective had completely shifted. The only person I wanted by my side in the delivery room was my husband. I wasn’t keen on having visitors in the hospital, and even less so when we brought our baby home.

Throughout my prenatal visits, it was amusing to see other couples with parents tagging along. The ultrasound rooms are tiny, and it baffled me how some squeezed in groups of four or more. Somewhere along the way, I decided that when our baby arrived, it would be just my husband and me. Given that we lived near D.C. and our families were all the way in Florida, that made things a bit easier.

Then, I went into premature labor at 33 weeks. Our nursery wasn’t finished, the car seat hadn’t been inspected, and we hadn’t even chosen a name for our baby yet. Thankfully, my little one decided to stick around a bit longer. But after a long 12 hours of contractions and medications to calm things down, I felt utterly exhausted. I imagined how much more drained I’d feel once the baby actually arrived.

When I’m under the weather, I prefer solitude—no fuss, no visitors, just time to recuperate. The thought of well-meaning relatives hovering over me while I tried to recover from childbirth sounded overwhelming. My parents offered help with chores and to stay overnight, but I didn’t want their first moments with their grandchild to be about laundry or cleaning. What could they do when I was nursing anyway?

As the pregnancy progressed, it became clear that my husband and I wanted those early days to be just for us. We were a thousand miles away from our parents and had navigated every step together, and we wanted to cherish our time as a family of three. So, we kindly told our parents we needed a week or two of privacy before their visit. They might not have been thrilled, but they understood.

When our son was born, we passed through the maternity waiting room to the elevators, and I saw a large family anxiously waiting. I felt a wave of exhaustion wash over me. I couldn’t imagine handling a crowd at that moment; I just wanted to savor those first moments with my husband and our baby. Sure, we sent out the good news via phone calls and texts, but at least those could be silenced.

The first few weeks at home were tough. Recovering from a C-section was no joke, and we set up camp in the living room for easy access. Neither of us had much experience with babies, but we tackled the challenges together. We shared every night feeding, and while my husband changed diapers, I nursed. Our little one had his fair share of crying spells, but we learned to comfort him on our own. By the time our parents came to visit, we had established a routine and felt a sense of confidence in our new roles.

When our families finally arrived, it was heartwarming to see their reactions. Watching my father beam with pride as he held his first grandchild was priceless. I also cherished the sight of my mother-in-law witnessing her son embrace fatherhood. But looking back, I’m grateful we had those initial days to ourselves. It was exactly what we needed.

For more insights on creating your family, check out this blog post. If you’re considering home insemination, Make a Mom is a reliable source. Also, the UCSF Center offers excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.

In summary, take the time you need as a new family. Your journey is unique, and it’s okay to carve out space for yourselves before introducing others into your new world.