8 Reasons Teenagers Are More Intimidating Than Threenagers

I first stumbled upon the term “threenager” while browsing through a blog. Apparently, some believe that 3-year-olds resemble teenagers in their behavior. While there may be some truth to that, having a real teenager in the house is a whole different ballgame. In my experience, teens are way scarier than threenagers. Here’s why:

1. Teenagers are physically bigger.

They can overpower you if they feel like it, while 3-year-olds are only capable of aiming for your knees. Sure, they may bite, but it’s a totally different vibe when the person you’ve raised is now towering over you, their eyes blazing with frustration and their face dotted with angry red spots.

2. Their voices are deeper.

When teenagers are upset, their voices are no longer cute and squeaky. I used to chuckle when my 3-year-old would whine, “I don’t LIKE this!” Now, when my teen bellows, “Nothing is going right today!” the walls shake and laughter is nowhere to be found.

3. Public meltdowns are judged.

People expect teenagers to manage their emotions better. A 3-year-old throwing a tantrum usually elicits sympathetic glances toward the parent, like, “We’ve all been there.” But with a teenager, the murmurs can quickly shift to comments about juvenile detention.

4. Their desires are pricier.

A 3-year-old might plead for a plastic toy set, but a teenager requests the latest smartphone. You might think that as kids grow older, the financial burden lessens, but that’s simply not the case.

5. Teenagers have an insatiable appetite.

You’ll watch in awe as they devour a large pizza in no time. A 3-year-old might nibble on their food, satisfied with a character-themed snack. But a teenager will insist they’re still hungry just minutes after a meal, and you’ll be baffled when the pantry is suddenly empty, despite your recent grocery run.

6. Their moods can flip in an instant.

One moment they’re laughing, and you’re thinking, “Life is good!” The next moment, they’re sulking and declaring that “their life is over.” Sure, 3-year-olds can be moody, but it’s less daunting to hear a little one wail, “My life is OVER!” in a high-pitched voice.

7. They’ve got the vocabulary to hurt feelings.

A 3-year-old might insult you with a playful “poopy-head,” which is amusing. A teenager, however, might craft a lengthy letter detailing how you’re ruining their life, claiming they “didn’t ask to be born.” While a 3-year-old will tire out and nap, your teenager could be ranting for hours.

8. Silence can be terrifying.

A 3-year-old rarely stays quiet, but when a teenager does, your mind races. Are they hiding something? Are they okay? When you ask, they simply reply, “I’m fine.” A 3-year-old would fill you in on their day, relaying tales of their friends’ latest antics, like “Janie picked her boogers!”

In summary, teenagers can be quite terrifying creatures. Sometimes I wish I could revert my teenager back to the days of being a 3-year-old. But then again, I remember that my 3-year-old couldn’t be left home alone, so I think I’ll stick with my teen—even if they do frighten me at times. For more insights, check out this other blog post.