6 Lessons My Mom’s Struggles with Alcohol Taught Me

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From a young age, I learned a lot about beverages. I discovered that red wine tastes best when it’s not too cold, white wine is lovely chilled, and one can enjoy a drink (or several) without needing to have a proper meal first. I’ve also come to understand the fine line between a few drinks and the descent into reckless behavior filled with empty promises. These lessons were imparted by my mom alongside the basic ABCs.

My mother struggled with alcoholism. While she isn’t a bad person, her choices under the influence often led to chaos and heartbreak. For years, I grappled with the negative aspects of her drinking, convinced that her flaws were somehow ingrained in me, and I hesitated to start my own family until I felt ready to be the best mom I could be.

Now that I have a daughter of my own, I often reflect on my relationship with my mother. Her addiction has strained our bond and turned it into a shadow of what could have been. Yet, despite the inappropriate lessons I learned from her, I’ve gained unexpected insights that I cherish every day.

1. Motherhood Isn’t Just About Biology.

I’m fortunate to have more than one maternal figure in my life. While my biological mom brought me into this world, she hasn’t been able to fulfill the emotional role I’ve needed. Thankfully, I have two incredible women who support me, celebrate my achievements, and love me in ways I always wished for. With their guidance, I have a wealth of wisdom to pass on to my daughter.

2. Earning the Title of “Mom.”

Being a mother goes beyond genetics; it’s about earning that title through love and support. I strive to show my daughter the affection and guidance she deserves, especially during tough times. I feel proud that I’ve truly earned the title of “Mom.”

3. Learning from Mistakes.

Parenting can be a puzzle. While I won’t claim to have all the answers, I certainly know what not to do. When faced with a challenge, I often think about how my mom might have handled it, then I do the opposite.

4. Cherishing Moments Together.

My own mother’s absence has highlighted how vital it is to be present for my daughter during both her big milestones and everyday moments. I find joy in these experiences, determined to create the memories I missed out on.

5. Perspective is a Gift.

Growing up with an addicted parent often meant I had to take on a caregiver role. No matter what challenges my daughter throws at me, they pale in comparison to what I faced growing up, giving me a unique perspective on parenting.

6. Strength and Resilience.

My past has prepared me for motherhood in a way that many new moms might struggle with. I recognize my strength and know that I can handle whatever parenting throws my way, making the transition feel natural.

My mom’s struggles taught me to make the most of life’s challenges. I hope to pass this resilient spirit to my daughter, aiming to show her how to face life’s hurdles with optimism—preferably with a glass of lemonade in hand, not something stronger.

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In summary, despite the difficulties stemming from my mom’s alcoholism, I’ve gained invaluable lessons that shape my approach to parenting. I strive to be a nurturing and present mother, ensuring my daughter knows she is loved and supported.