If you’ve ever met my neighbors at the white house, you might have heard about the Halloween when a little boy dressed as a construction barrel strolled right into their home, turned down a handful of Tootsie Rolls, and asked where the bathroom was while tugging down his pants.
Or perhaps you’ve chatted with the friendly woman three houses down, who could recount the time my son refused all of her candy choices simply because he didn’t like them—though he did compliment her on her beautiful chandeliers with energy-efficient bulbs.
And let’s not forget the family at the end of the block, who found my son more fascinated with their foyer lights than with the prospect of a full-size Kit Kat or Twix bar.
A few years back, my son, the construction barrel, was the only kid in our neighborhood who wasn’t focused on filling up his orange pumpkin with candy. His Halloween agenda was all about the quirky joys that come with autism. For him, October 31 is the ultimate day of exploration, a chance to step into all the homes in the neighborhood. He believes that when someone opens their door, it’s a warm invitation to come inside, and he eagerly accepts it.
Meeting my son at the door isn’t just a quick “here’s your candy” exchange; it’s an enlightening moment about embracing differences. While some neighbors take it in stride, others seem puzzled and unsure of how to react. I can’t fault them; many just need a little education. My simple advice? Be aware, understanding, and accepting.
Not every child knocking on your door fits the mold of a costume-wearing candy-seeker who has been counting down the days to Halloween. For some kids, including those with autism, shyness, or allergies, the night can be confusing and uncomfortable. To create a more inclusive atmosphere, consider having a few nut-free or gluten-free treats available, along with some non-food options. You might have heard of the Teal Pumpkin Project, which encourages families to display a teal pumpkin or sign to indicate they offer safe, non-food items. This initiative not only raises awareness of food allergies but also promotes inclusivity for all trick-or-treaters.
When my son was younger, he struggled to communicate, and “trick-or-treat” was nowhere in his vocabulary. For many kids with autism, or those who are simply shy, approaching a stranger’s house can be a daunting experience. If a child doesn’t say “trick-or-treat” or even “thank you,” that’s perfectly okay! It shouldn’t be a requirement for candy.
I know many parents who rehearse Halloween with their kids to ease their nerves on the big night, teaching them to say “trick-or-treat” and “thank you” while helping them get used to costumes and walking around the neighborhood. Some even use social stories to prepare their children for social interactions.
When we first started trick-or-treating, my son wasn’t a fan of the experience—he disliked being outside in the dark, found the decorations scary, and his costumes often felt uncomfortable. Some questioned why we even bothered taking him out if he was so unhappy. But staying home wasn’t an option for us. Like many children—autistic or not—the more experiences he has, the more comfortable he becomes. After a few years of trick-or-treating, my son now looks forward to Halloween as much as his siblings do. His excitement is more about visiting the neighbors than collecting candy, and I love seeing him enjoy the holiday, even if it’s for a different reason.
So this Halloween, please remember to be aware, understanding, and patient. If my kids come to your door, a little generosity—especially with chocolate—would be greatly appreciated. Here’s how you can help make trick-or-treating enjoyable for every child:
- Be aware. Just as you’ll encounter a variety of costumes, you’ll also meet children with different levels of comfort during Halloween. You can’t always tell who has autism or allergies just by looking at them.
- Be understanding. While Halloween is a joy for many kids, not every child who knocks on your door shares that excitement. Some may not be dressed up for personal reasons, and it’s important to respect that.
- Be accepting. Each child is unique, with their own strengths and weaknesses, including their understanding of Halloween etiquette. Give them candy (or a non-food item), smile, and wish them a happy Halloween. They’re making an effort, and that’s something to celebrate!
Your kindness and understanding truly make a difference in the lives of these children. If you want to learn more about parenting and related topics, check out this blog post on home insemination, which covers helpful information for families.
In summary, Halloween is a time for all children to explore and enjoy, regardless of their differences. By being aware, understanding, and accepting, you can help create a more inclusive and joyful experience for everyone.