13 Reasons the Neighbors Call Me ‘That Frustrated Mom’

home insemination Kit

Getting out of the house is like a scene from a chaotic play for my family. Once we’re outside or inside, we’re usually fine, but that in-between moment—when we’re transitioning from one to the other—is when I totally lose it. And wouldn’t you know it, that’s when the neighbors can hear me the best. Here are 13 reasons why they’ve dubbed me “that frustrated mom.”

1. “Where are your shoes? You can put them on yourself! You’re not a ‘widdle baby.’ Come on, we’re running late. Just give it a try, and I’ll help if you need it. Nope, that’s not a good try. PUT ON YOUR SHOES NOW!”
2. “Why didn’t you go to the bathroom when I asked you five minutes ago? Guess you’ll just have to wait now.”
3. “Where’s the baby? Did you put him somewhere? Are you playing hide-and-seek? WHERE IS HE? Oh, there he is. WHAT ARE YOU EATING?”
4. “Did you brush your teeth? No? Well, I guess they’ll just rot out of your mouth then.”
5. “You just remembered the permission slip? Today’s the field trip! Where is it? Well, go dig through the trash for it.”
6. “No, you can’t run outside without your shoes. It’s 40 degrees! I said no. UGH, I SAID NO!”
7. “Are we playing a game called ‘Who Can Whine the Loudest’? Because if so, it sounds just like jazz gone wrong. Okay, stop that noise!”
8. “Oh, is that a permission slip for today? And you need $10 for lunch? Great, I have no cash. But sure, I’m still calm.”
9. “Wait, it’s picture day too? When did I give you a bath last? THIS IS JUST FANTASTIC.”
10. “Alright, let me set the groceries down while I unlock the door. Sweetie, can you keep your brother from trying to grab everything? That’s a glass bottle! Hang on, put that down. Honey, I SAID PUT IT DOWN!”
11. “I know, I’m hungry too! Just a few minutes to get dinner ready. Oh, you found a candy bar in my purse? I was saving that for my…”
12. “Sweetie, you look a little green. Let’s get you to the bathroom. Oh dear. No, don’t play in your brother’s vomit! Honey, step away. I’m trying to clean this up… I SAID STEP AWAY!”
13. “Let’s see who can be quiet the longest—YOU JUST LOST!”

The truth is, once we’re inside with shoes off and groceries put away, we’re all good. Or when we’re outside, buckled in and on our way, it’s all lovely. It’s just that transitional zone where the neighbors can judge my parenting skills. But hey, some of them seem a bit sketchy too—maybe one will offer me a Quaalude or at least a candy bar. I could really use one!

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In summary, parenting can be a wild ride, especially during those challenging moments when the kids are transitioning between spaces. Even though I might be “that angry mom” in the eyes of my neighbors, I know that once we’re settled, we’re all good. And who knows? Maybe I’ll get a little quiet time soon.