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What About Me?
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What About Me?
“I love you,” I call out, shutting the door behind my teenage daughter.
“I love you,” she replies nonchalantly as she hops into the waiting car. I watch her drive away, feeling a twinge of longing to stay at the window until she returns, like a pet left home alone. Once again, I have the house to myself.
This used to be a rare treat. I’d plop down on the couch with a book and a steaming cup of coffee, relishing the peace and quiet. But now, my daughter is a teenager, and she craves more independence. She no longer sees me as her go-to organizer or problem-solver, and my attempts to share my wisdom are often met with the dreaded teenage eye-roll.
It hardly seems fair. I invested so much time and energy into parenting. When my generation finally settled down, we took on parenthood as if it were a competitive sport. We hovered, intervened, snapped countless photos, and shared our children’s milestones, intertwining our identities with theirs like never before.
Now, it feels like that chapter has come to a close. What once seemed like a never-ending journey through toddlerhood has a definitive end, leaving me to ponder what comes next in life. I want to shout, “What about me?” every time my daughter leaves, but I hold back. Deep down, I know I need to take a cue from my daughter and start living my own life again.
I began exploring how other women navigate this transition as their kids leave home. Much of what I read emphasized quiet, reflective lives filled with discussions about weight gain and menopause. Sure, I know I’m supposed to feel sad and anxious about an empty nest and the inevitable aging process.
But my emotions are more layered: while I do feel a hint of sadness, I also sense a thrilling spark at the thought of embarking on a new chapter. I might be in denial, but I am ready to dive into new experiences—literally and figuratively. I’m looking forward to traveling in the fall and winter without worrying about school schedules and relishing dinners with my husband without glancing at the clock, waiting for my daughter to rush off to her next activity. After years of focusing inward on family, it’s time for me to lift my gaze and explore the world outside.
Yes, it’s bittersweet when our kids leave home, but we’re still young enough to embrace new adventures. Once we adjust to the quiet of an empty house, I believe we can become a force for fun and good times. We no longer have to spend our lives reminiscing about the past or fretting over our waistlines. Now, we have the chance to pursue all those things we set aside while raising our families—mountain climbing, swimming with dolphins, and transforming the world.
I’ve changed since my younger days, and I like to think I’ve picked up a few valuable lessons along the way. Parenthood has reshaped me, smoothing some of my sharper edges and making me less arrogant. I know myself better now, and I care less about what others think of me than I did when I was trying so hard to fit in. Adulthood has granted me independence and a lower fear of failure, which bodes well for my future.
Still, I’m aware that I may find myself in a puddle of tears after my daughter leaves. Nobody said an empty nest was devoid of complexities. Now, my daughter is eager to spread her wings and fly, while I hover nearby, worried about the challenges ahead, all while knowing she needs to take her flight. My own wings may be a bit worn and frayed, but on the good days, I feel ready to soar into the open sky once more.
“I love you,” I’ll whisper as she takes off. Then, I’ll see what my old wings can still do.
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Summary
As children grow and seek independence, many parents face the bittersweet transition of an empty nest. This article reflects on the journey of a mother navigating her feelings as her daughter takes flight, celebrating the opportunity for new adventures while acknowledging the complexities of change.