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My Son and His Future Partner
I have to admit, I’m not a fan of the idea of my son’s future partner. The thought of him spending holidays with her family and prioritizing her wishes makes me uneasy. But, here’s the twist: my son is only 10, so technically he doesn’t have a partner yet. Still, I like to think ahead.
Whenever I chat with moms of boys, I can’t help but share my preemptive feelings about this mysterious future daughter-in-law. Some women nod knowingly, while others share that infamous saying I’ve grown to loathe, “A son is a son ’til he takes a wife; a daughter is a daughter for life.” I have a daughter, and I’m confident she’ll be around for the long haul, but this isn’t about her.
Then there are the moms who disagree with my perspective, often saying things like, “You have to let them go,” or, “I adore my daughter-in-law!” That’s when I give them the same incredulous look I’d reserve for anyone asking me to investigate strange noises in the basement at night.
So, when my son hopped off the bus one day, clutching a piece of paper with a serious expression, I knew something was up. “I need to tell you something,” he said, revealing he has a crush on a girl who’s moving away soon, and he wants to call her. Surprisingly, I didn’t panic or get angry; instead, I felt a rush of excitement. “Okay, let’s do it!” I replied, trying to keep my cool.
Watching him dial her number, his brow furrowed in concentration, was heartwarming. I listened as he used polite words, and when her mother agreed to let him talk to her, he celebrated with a fist pump. His first phone call with a girl! I chuckled from my hiding spot as he awkwardly asked, “So, uh, how’s your family?”
A couple of days later, I picked her up from school for ice cream. I paid and then discreetly sat in the corner, pretending I didn’t know them. They were laughing, talking, and enjoying their treats, and I felt a lump in my throat. Seeing my son so happy warmed my heart. It dawned on me that I had been looking at his growing independence as a loss, when really, it’s a gain for both of us.
I realized I had been selfish, focusing on my own fears instead of celebrating his joys. Every little achievement of his—whether it’s a good grade, a hit at bat, or a funny joke—fills me with pride, and his happiness is intertwined with mine. It’s true what they say: “You’re only as happy as your least happy child.”
I had overlooked how exciting it is for him to experience those first crushes, the fluttering feelings of young love, and eventually, the adventure of sharing his life with someone special. His dad is my everything, and raising our kids together has been both thrilling and daunting. I want that for my son too, of course.
He still dances with me in the bathroom, twirling me while singing silly songs, and hugs me with genuine affection. Lying next to him at night, his innocent eyes open wide with wonder, brings me a bittersweet mix of joy and sorrow. I cherish these moments, knowing they’re fleeting. I believe that whoever wins his heart will be incredibly lucky, but I no longer view her as someone taking him away from me.
So, if this future partner happens to read this someday and is wondering how to win over her somewhat quirky mother-in-law, here’s my advice: Christmas at our place! Welcome to the family, dear!
For more insights on family and parenting, don’t miss this resource on pregnancy and check out this link about at-home insemination kits.
Summary
In this heartfelt reflection, a mother shares her initial apprehensions about her son’s future partner, only to realize that her fears stem from a selfish perspective. Through moments of his first crush and joyful experiences, she learns the importance of celebrating her son’s happiness as intertwined with her own. Ultimately, she embraces the idea of welcoming his future partner into their family.