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Why Do You Have a Mustache? And Other Quirky Remarks from My Kids
What is it about kids that makes them such delightful little observers? With just a glance, a playful giggle, or a spontaneous “I love you, Mommy,” they can instantly brighten even the gloomiest of days. They have this uncanny ability to make us laugh, often without even trying. For instance, my son recently declared, “Mom, I’m never going to eat poop again.” I have no idea how he came to that conclusion, but I’m relieved he’s made that choice!
As a famous old show once said, “Kids say the funniest things.” It’s true. There I can be, having a tough time, and one look at my kids makes my worries dissipate like magic. Motherhood has a way of transforming you, even if those around you can’t quite put their finger on what’s changed. It’s like when you dye your hair a little too dark; people notice but can’t quite articulate what’s off. Unless, of course, it’s my kids—they’re keenly observant. I might be tempted to call them gifted, but that feels a bit boastful, doesn’t it?
While they may not always express gratitude for the countless things I do for them, they have their unique ways of showing appreciation. Their comments can be hilariously uplifting, especially for a homebody like me. “Mom, is that a red pea on your face? Can I touch it?” Oh, the humor! It’s a fair question—what’s with these blemishes on my face as I approach 40? But no one is touching anything, thank you very much!
Then there’s, “Mom, why do you have eyelashes growing on your legs?” Gotta love those curious little minds! And the classic, “Mom, do you have a mustache?” Well, now that you mention it, I do! It’s like having a best friend who doesn’t sugarcoat anything—they’ll tell you immediately when something’s off, like if you’ve got spinach stuck in your teeth, just to save you from embarrassment.
And oh, the inquiries only get more creative! “Do you use teeth whitener, Mom?” A loaded question that can go either way, but the tone gives it away. This is right up there with “No offense, Mom, but…” Their honesty can be brutal! “Your armpits smell, Mom.” How did they even get that close? I’m not showering just for them. Aging is a thing, and next week I might smell like my grandma’s home—nostalgic but not exactly fresh.
“Ugh! Stop dancing, Mom.” Apparently, my kids despise it, but behind closed doors, I take advantage of it! It’s amusing because, let’s be honest, I can’t dance to save my life. “Stanky Legg” anyone? Who’s the boss now?
And then there’s the million-dollar question: “Why don’t you have a real job, Mom?” Valid from their perspective, but instead of diving into a lengthy explanation about the joys of motherhood, I’d rather just pick my zits, skip the leg shave, and enjoy a glass of teeth-staining red wine. I know the risks, but hey, Mommy’s pretty on the inside!
If you’re looking for more insights on the journey to becoming a parent, check out this post on home insemination. For a deeper dive into fertility topics, Make A Mom is a fantastic resource, as is Facts About Fertility for all things pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, kids have a unique way of observing the world, often providing hilarity and truth in their unfiltered remarks. Their innocent questions and comments remind us of the joys and challenges of parenting, all while keeping us grounded in the everyday realities of life.