Your cart is currently empty!
Please Avoid Calling My Autistic Son ‘Naughty’
It was one of those beautiful sunny days in Southern California when my husband and our two older boys set off to enjoy some water sports at the local lagoon with friends. Charlie, my youngest, had therapy scheduled, so it was just me and the little ones at home. We stuck to our usual Sunday routine: church followed by some playtime. Charlie’s therapist arrived right on time, and off we went to church. About 15 minutes into the service, I received a text from the nursery: “Come get Max.” This wasn’t surprising since he often struggles in the nursery, but I was determined to make the day enjoyable.
After church, Charlie played outside for a little while. He’s learning to engage more with our yard, which usually means wandering around rather than actually playing. With a bit of encouragement from his therapist and me, we got him to slide and swing for a whole minute—it may sound silly, but it was a big deal for us.
Despite the hiccup with Max at church, the morning was turning out great. With a two-hour break before Charlie’s next therapy session, we planned to go out to eat as a family, usually opting for fast food during quieter hours to avoid judgmental stares when Charlie has a meltdown.
When his therapist arrived in her colorful pants, she was just as excited as I was to try a new store. I felt a glimmer of hope as Charlie seemed to be doing well—until suddenly, without warning, a meltdown erupted. I’m not sure what triggered it: the lighting, the overwhelming colors, or perhaps just a stranger invading his personal space, but it was intense.
My heart raced as I stood helplessly watching him hit the floor, screaming and banging his head against the hard tiles. His therapist quickly took over, and I was reminded of the harsh reality that sometimes he needs her more than me in those moments. As I watched, tears welled up; I felt the judgment of other shoppers piercing through me. It was as if time stood still while I waited for him to regain control.
Once he calmed down, I felt drained. But we pressed on to check out. I struggled to focus on the therapist’s explanation of why we should stay, my mind racing with doubt. I just wanted to escape. Charlie sat quietly at this point, but I felt ragged and overwhelmed.
As we exited, things took a turn again, and Charlie fell into another meltdown. This time, we were in a relatively open space, and I hoped to have a moment to gather myself. But then, an older woman shouted, “Take him home already!” My heart sank. I wanted to explain everything—how this is a learning process for us, how I’m just trying to help him navigate this overwhelming world. But I couldn’t. I just moved on to the car.
To outsiders, it may look like my son is simply misbehaving—flailing in the shopping cart, kicking, hitting, and struggling to cope with the world around him. But he’s not a bad kid; he has autism, which presents unique challenges.
When we began applied behavior analysis (ABA) therapy, Charlie couldn’t last more than a few minutes in the grocery cart. Now, he’s learning and growing, but it’s a process. I’ve faced a lot of judgment and hurtful comments along the way, even from those who know about his autism.
What they don’t fully grasp is that Charlie experiences the world in a different way. He has difficulty communicating his needs and feelings, often leading to overwhelming situations. He thrives on routine and predictability, becoming easily overwhelmed by new environments and people.
Charlie is not naughty; he just needs help finding his way through this unpredictable world. So, I ask you kindly: please don’t judge him or me. We’re doing our best, and your negativity won’t help.
For more insights on navigating parenting and insemination options, check out our related articles on home insemination kits, including insights from CryoBaby and great resources like Johns Hopkins’ Fertility Center.
Summary
The article shares a mother’s experience raising her autistic son, Charlie, and the challenges they face in public. It highlights the importance of understanding autism and refraining from labeling children as “naughty” when they are simply navigating a world that can be overwhelming for them.