Please Don’t Invite My Kids to Your Wedding

Deciding whether to invite kids to your wedding is one of those topics that can stir up quite a bit of drama among friends and family. It can even push couples to seek therapy! Instead of stressing over the guest list, why not focus on important choices like which desserts will be served or what song will kick off your first dance? There’s truly no need to get defensive about the whole kids thing.

Let’s be honest:

Our guest list is limited.
The caterer doesn’t serve chicken nuggets.
It’s a late ceremony.
We think kids are little tornadoes.

Let me clarify something: I don’t want to spend every waking moment with my kids, even if I do spend most of my time with them. So instead of explaining why my little ones aren’t invited, just don’t invite them at all. It’ll be a magical outcome! Here’s why:

It’s Your Day:

If you feel like having a wedding cake shaped like a unicorn or a DJ who only plays 90s boy bands, go for it! Your special day should reflect your vision, and if that means keeping it kid-free, I fully support it.

I Get a Rare Night Out:

You’re giving me the chance to leave my house, squeeze into a fancy dress I’ll likely never wear again, and dance the night away with my partner. This hasn’t happened since my own wedding!

No Risk of Upstaging:

My 3-year-old looks adorable in tulle and sequins, and let’s face it, she has a knack for stealing the spotlight. Once she’s twirling around the dance floor, everyone will be looking at her instead of you. It’s your big day, after all!

Kids Don’t Want to Be There, Either:

For kids, weddings are a mix of sitting still, being quiet, and avoiding wardrobe malfunctions. Not exactly a fun time for them! More often than not, I see them sulking in the corner or glued to a phone screen.

Supervision is a Challenge:

Friends and family often promise to keep an eye on my kids, but once the dance floor opens up and drinks start flowing, everyone disappears. Who really wants to babysit when they could be having fun? Plus, trying to juggle a toddler and a drink usually ends in disaster.

Controlling the Guest List:

Many of us have kids now, and if you let us bring them along, your guest list could skyrocket. Suddenly, your intimate gathering resembles a daycare, and good luck hearing your vows over the chorus of kids asking when dinner will be served!

You’ll Save Me Money:

Between my outfit, my child’s attire, and all the things I need to bring along, weddings can get pricey. If you don’t invite my kids, it lightens the load significantly!

I Could Use a Drink:

I’m not a heavy drinker, but I do enjoy a glass of wine (or three) at weddings. It’s hard to relax when I’m responsible for tiny humans in a place filled with potential hazards. Trust me, I don’t want to explain to them why Mom is tipsy after a few toasts.

Reciprocity is Unlikely:

My daughter probably won’t invite you to her birthday party, citing “limited space” and “only enough pizza for five.” So feel free to save that seat at your wedding for someone who will appreciate it more.

In summary, not inviting my kids to your wedding might just be the best decision for everyone involved—especially for me!

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