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Congratulations! You’re Fired
There are a few truths about motherhood that nobody prepared me for. Here are three of them:
- Labor is more painful than you can ever imagine.
- Breastfeeding also comes with its own set of challenges.
- Adolescence? It’s just as tough (refer back to No. 1).
However, the biggest secret I wish someone had shared is that parenting is merely a phase—a temporary role that eventually comes to an end. There’s a lot of chatter about the idea that parenting lasts a lifetime, that your kids will always need you. In reality, I believe parenting is a job that should come with an expiration date, much like pregnancy.
Remember how pregnancy felt like it would drag on forever? Time seemed to stand still as your belly expanded, and then, in the blink of an eye, it’s over. Suddenly, you’re a parent, and life is irrevocably altered. Even the longest pregnancies culminate in the most beautiful outcome. The conclusion of parenting is no different.
I should have realized that parenting also comes with a timeline. Yet, no one mentioned how long this “gestation” period would last or when I might expect a retirement date. Like pregnancy, the early years of parenting feel like they stretch on endlessly—sleepless nights, anxiety over school issues, countless hours spent helping with homework, and the sweltering heat during sports practice. Then, just like that, it’s all over. One moment, you’re crucial to every decision; the next, your advice is no longer sought. Thanks for playing!
Veteran parents told me that being a parent would be the most challenging job I’d ever love. But no one warned me that it’s the one occupation where hard work and a bit of luck essentially lead to being let go. Ironically, in this role, you only achieve the peak of your career when you officially become “unemployed.”
As much as I adore being a mom, if I do my job well (with some luck thrown in), I’ll transition from a full-time position to a part-time consultant—available only when my expertise (or my credit card) is needed. And if I play my cards right, the business I’ve nurtured will thrive without me.
If all goes according to plan, my kids will grow into capable, compassionate adults. Congratulations! You’re fired!
I might still dip my toes into parenting occasionally. Sure, my phone will ring, and one of my kids might ask how to prepare a new dish or lament the loss of their wallet. I might even lend a listening ear to a broken heart. But I fundamentally believe that this parenting role is designed for eventual obsolescence. I will always be a parent, but I won’t always be in the trenches of parenting. And when the day comes that they truly don’t need me, that’ll be my proof of success.
There’s already evidence that I’ve done my job. Those chaotic birthday parties, late-night drama, and countless photo memories tell me that my efforts weren’t in vain. The real reward, though, comes from seeing the young adults who share my love of life—and my genes.
My eldest has just completed her first year after college and is already making her mark in the working world. My second child is off on a gap year adventure and is now enrolled in college, just as he promised. And my youngest is in high school, ready to take flight.
It seems my days of hands-on parenting are winding down, as I can now outsource many of my former responsibilities to alarm clocks, takeout menus, friends, mentors, and teachers. I’m looking forward to being “jobless,” trusting that my kids will manage their lives and find the support they need. I’m counting on them to become the caring, skilled adults the world needs.
I’m perfectly fine with the idea that their success means I’m out of a job. I’ll still be around, though, in a new capacity—ready to step in when needed, but gratefully less involved.
If you’re curious about home insemination, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and fertility treatments at March of Dimes. And if you’re interested in the tools needed for pregnancy, Make a Mom offers great insights into home insemination kits. You can also explore more about this topic on our blog here.
In summary, parenting is temporary, a phase that ultimately leads to independence for your children. While it may be bittersweet to say goodbye to a full-time parenting role, the joy of seeing your kids thrive is an incredible reward.