You know it’s time to reevaluate your choices when Lionel Richie and Jimmy Fallon pop up on your social media, singing “Hello, is it me you’re looking for?” It’s like they just know you’ve forgotten something important. And so there it was, buried in a pile of mail: the premiere issue of RH Teen!
To be fair, I wasn’t actively seeking out Restoration Hardware’s latest teen catalog. I grew up in the ’80s, where our concept of teen decor came from John Hughes films, friends’ bedrooms, and the lava lamps at Spencer’s Gifts. My one and only room makeover included a new rug, mirrored closet doors, and walls adorned with posters of The Outsiders (Stay gold, Ponyboy, stay gold).
My kids, however, have endless options for teen decor. While we usually lean toward Ikea and quirky thrift store finds, RH seems to think there’s a place for their teen line in our lives. So, I took a look, and here are five things I noticed about RH Teen products:
- Let the Pieces Speak: The “Perfect Somewhere” bedroom needs no introduction aside from its tagline about writing your own rules. But wait—who’s writing the rules? Because that chic furniture, mirror, and requisite crystal chandelier come with a price tag of $12,000. A tip for RH Teen: Maybe include a plan for how to get your teen out of the house when they’re living in a $12k bedroom!
- Snacking is Key: For only $3,419, you can snag the Rylin Tufted White Velvet Chaise and Loveseat. But do RH Teens not snack? Because any teen I know loves to lounge and munch. Unless, of course, they live on plain yogurt and Whole Foods snacks—then the white velvet works perfectly.
- Confusing Quotes: What’s with the “All Good Things Are Wild And Free” artwork priced at $139? If it’s good, shouldn’t it be free? And does that apply to the $12,000 bedroom? It seems to suggest that only the wild teens get to enjoy it, while their parents foot the bill.
- Boring Irony: The “perfect is boring” sign priced at $199 really sends mixed messages. Are we saying that the “Perfect Somewhere” bedroom is, in fact, boring?
- Want It All: For those who prefer straightforward messages, the “I Want It All Pillow” ($49) is ideal. It’s a great way to teach teens to aim high—just let’s hope they don’t want the $1,799 Orbit Faux Fur Chair!
And here’s the kicker—RH, you’ve missed some essentials. It’s understandable; teens are a new market for you. After years focused on wealthy adults, the teen crowd is the last frontier. So here are a few suggestions:
First, if we adults received a hefty 17-pound set of Restoration Hardware sourcebooks last summer, shouldn’t teens get at least two catalogs? I’m imagining the new RH Teen sourcebook: Trough and Hook.
Parents of teens know the struggle: when you hand them their freshly laundered clothes, they often just leave them lying around. Those lovely dressers? They’ll remain empty while clothes take over the floor. Enter the trough, a must-have for teen laundry solutions. Originally designed for feeding animals, these long containers (starting at $599) offer a stylish way for teens to toss their clothes without the hassle of drawers.
And what about those who can’t be bothered with hangers? Voilà—hooks! Think of rustic hooks crafted from reclaimed metal (no unclaimed metal here, apparently!). For just $120 each, teens can simply toss their clothes in the general direction of the hooks, freeing up more time for lounging.
Here’s the reality check: some parents won’t be swayed by fancy decor. They’re the kind who can whip up something similar from stuff found in the basement for just a few bucks. And let’s not forget that saving for college thing! To those free-spirited parents, we say stay gold. And when your teen insists on an RH Teen bedroom, show them the “It Is What It Is” metallic gold foil art ($179) and together, take that catalog to the recycling bin. Remember, “Carpe Diem” art for $399 is just a crumpled piece of paper! They must be pulling our leg, right? At least it’s nice to know RH is into recycling too.
For more insights on navigating parenting and home decor, check out our other blog posts, like this one on home insemination.
Summary
The RH Teen catalog offers some high-priced decor options that might not resonate with budget-conscious parents or the reality of teen life. With whimsical quotes and impractical items, it’s clear this line might be more about style than substance. If you’re looking for practical solutions, consider simpler, more affordable options that resonate with the everyday lives of teens.