6 Reasons I Won’t Offer Divorce Advice to My Friends

As I navigate a new chapter in my life, I’ve noticed that many friends around me are facing their own crossroads. I often receive messages asking for advice on divorce, and my response is always, “I’m here for you, but I can’t give advice.” I might be happy to share a bottle of wine, but not my thoughts on divorce. Here’s why:

1. You might think you want guidance, but you probably don’t.

During my own divorce, I was bombarded with advice at every turn. Everyone had their own stories, warnings, and lists of what I should do. While I listened, much of it was irrelevant and only added to my stress. There’s immense value in taking the time to reflect and figure things out for yourself. Doing your research and considering your options is a powerful way to regain control when everything feels chaotic.

2. You may not actually want a divorce.

Emotions can cloud our judgment, especially when they’re running high. Looking back, I can talk about my experience as if it was easy, but that perspective can be misleading. Divorce can be devastating, and my upbeat hindsight might push you toward a decision you’re not truly ready to make.

3. Your situation is uniquely yours.

Every relationship and divorce is different, and what worked for me might be a complete disaster for you. Only you understand the intricacies of your situation. While it may seem tempting to follow someone else’s path, forging your own way is often the best choice.

4. I don’t want to be part of your life-altering decisions.

If things go south or you find yourself regretting a choice, I wouldn’t want to feel responsible for that. I’m always here to lend an ear over a glass of wine, to offer support, and to remind you of your strength. You’re capable of making your own decisions, and it’s important to feel confident in what you choose.

5. Just because I’ve found happiness post-divorce doesn’t make me an expert.

My outcome was positive, but that doesn’t mean I have a foolproof formula for success. I made choices with careful consideration, but ultimately, some things were beyond my control. Just because I’m in a good place now doesn’t mean my journey will apply to yours.

6. Honestly, I’m a bit tired of discussing divorce.

There’s more to my life than my past marriage, and I prefer to focus on other topics. If you have specific questions or need a resource, I’m happy to help, but I’m not interested in rehashing my divorce story repeatedly.

I’m here to offer support and love. You will get through this, just as I did. But when it comes to giving advice, I have to decline.

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Summary:

While many friends seek my divorce advice, I focus on support rather than guidance. Each person’s journey is unique, and it’s essential to navigate personal decisions independently. I prefer to stay out of the decision-making process and encourage friends to find their own paths.