Your cart is currently empty!
A Friendly Pep Talk for Surviving the Newborn Stage
Updated: Feb. 12, 2021
Originally Published: November 12, 2015
In the middle of a sleepless night, my partner Ryan stood in the kitchen, wrestling with a bag of breast milk. “Is this really what parenting is like? This is awful!” he exclaimed. There I was, sitting in mesh underwear, tears streaming down my face, dealing with the aftermath of my emergency C-section and the battle scars from our initial breastfeeding attempts. Our little one was wailing, and we hadn’t caught a wink of sleep in two days. I felt like I was wandering around in a haze, not even distinguishing between crying and just being. The demands of our one-week-old felt overwhelming—I was constantly pumping, feeding, and changing diapers. On top of it all, I was battling a fever that my doctor didn’t seem to take seriously. A heavy cloud of despair loomed over us.
“This must be what it’s like to be a parent,” we thought, feeling like we’d been tricked by the perfect Facebook photos of smiling families. For us, parenthood had been a seeming endless cycle of pain, exhaustion, and worry.
But then, the tide turned. Fast forward five years later, and our newborn is now a vibrant kindergartner. Looking back, I realize that a big part of the initial horror was simply not knowing when it would end. We assumed the relentless demands of a one-month-old were our new normal, which felt utterly miserable.
Each day brought its own challenges: C-section pain, nursing injuries, the constant pumping, my fluctuating temperature, and the never-ending diaper changes. Those grueling first three months—what Ryan dubbed the “Battle of Antietam”—were tough, but they eventually passed.
What Do I Wish I’d Known?
Things get better in manageable two-week increments. That insight made our experience with baby number two much smoother. We knew exactly how long each stage would last—even the nerve-wracking moments of caring for the umbilical cord. Before our second child arrived, I mentally prepared myself: “The C-section pain eases after two weeks, don’t hesitate to take the pain meds! Nursing will get easier in three to four weeks, and by two months, things will feel a lot better.”
I repeated my little pep talk in those early days with baby number two. On the day after my C-section, I reminded myself, “Just two more weeks.” When nursing felt excruciating, I told myself, “Hang in till week four, and then we’ll reassess.” Those sleepless nights? They were still tough, but knowing that longer sleep stretches were coming was a comfort. Sure, those initial days sometimes dragged on. On day 11, I found myself thinking, “This is day 11,” over and over. But the knowledge that each stage has an end was incredibly reassuring, making the newborn phase with our second much easier than the first.
A dear friend, just before her second delivery, scheduled an email to herself for the two-week mark, knowing from experience that it would be the hardest moment. She reminded herself that this was the low point and that things would only improve from there.
Words of Comfort
So, if you’re navigating the newborn stage, here’s a little comfort: In my experience, things do improve in two-week increments. It gets a bit easier at two weeks, then four weeks, and so on. And while I don’t want to downplay any feelings of despair or anxiety—please reach out to your doctor if you’re feeling overwhelmed—remember that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. This stage will pass, usually in about two weeks.
For more insights into navigating your journey, check out our other blog post here. Also, if you’re looking for expert advice, Make a Mom has a wealth of information on this topic, and WebMD offers excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, the newborn phase can feel overwhelming, but it’s crucial to remember that each stage has an end. With a bit of patience and knowledge, you’ll find yourself on the other side, looking back at this chaotic time as just a fleeting moment in your parenting journey.